张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

太好了
刚买了，还没开始做呢
下个月再做，先回个贴

Interestingly, the master (owner) of the cell phone put it at the place that was (去掉that was) occupied by waste boxes. Obviously, the messages were sent to the cell phone always（提前到were和sent之间）. ‘It is a really bored (boring) phone!’ These waste boxes thought. Even they expressed rage to the bored (boring) messages.
描述给人一种碎片感，建议修改为： It is quite interesting that a cell phone has been put among rubbish boxes by his owner, on the screen of which is flashing the words “Junk messages are being received.” “How annoying they are!” Even other rubbish boxes thought unhappily.

Nowadays, with the mobile phone popularizing (popularize是及物动词，使用错误。改为：becoming popular), both the number of people who has it (phone users) and the number of (与前面的重复，可删去) the waste messages from it (没有必要的表达，可删去) are increasing fast. The waste messages mainly come from mobile operators. To produce profit, they allow lots of advertisement firms (动词allow的用法是allow…to do…，所以加上to) use their system (use…to do…，加上to) spread messages. It was reported that the revenue from messages accounts for one quarter of (加上the) total revenues. Meanwhile, as the consumer (复数consumers) of mobile business, they have no effective means to deal with the waste messages. Some consumers seek to bring a lawsuit to solve it, but this is believed that it is (加上a) long-run progress and has an uncertain result.(1。句式结构错误，改为this is believed to be…，或it is believed that …；2。long-run progress和an uncertain result含义表达不清楚。建议改为：but it is believed that the settlement of the lawsuit will be a long-run progress.)

To solve this problem, I think the government is the best solver (表达不地道，建议改为：should be primarily responsible for this). Actually, (此句与上句是果因关系，可改为表原因的连词Because) the government is both the policy maker and the final beneficiary of the profit from bored (boring) messages (表达不准确，改为：trash messages). On one hand, the Information and Industry Department has the power to modify current policy of advertisement in mobile system (Mobile advertising). On the other hand, as the owner of two operators, the government just needs (加上to) order them to change it (句意表达不完整。要改变什么？建议改为：On the other hand, mobile operators should effectively control the spread of trash messages through technical means). Of course, everything will not develop naturally and smoothly, but we expect that (语义不完整，修改为：but we expect that the hi-tech trash problem can be eventually tackled ).

修改后：
It is quite interesting that a cell phone has been put among rubbish boxes by his owner, on the screen of which is flashing the words “Junk messages are being received.” “How annoying they are!” Even other rubbish boxes thought unhappily.

Nowadays, with the mobile phone becoming popular, both the number of phone users and the waste messages are increasing fast. The waste messages mainly come from mobile operators. To produce profit, they allow lots of advertisement firms to use their system to spread messages. It was reported that the revenue from messages accounts for one quarter of the total revenues. Meanwhile, as the consumers of mobile business, they have no effective means to deal with the waste messages. Some consumers seek to bring a lawsuit to solve it, but it is believed that the settlement of the lawsuit will be a long-run progress.

To solve the problem, I think the government should be primarily responsible for this. Because the government is both the policy maker and the final beneficiary of the profit from trash messages. On one hand, the Information and Industry Department has the power to modify current policy of mobile advertising. On the other hand, mobile operators should effectively control the spread of trash messages through technical means. Of course, everything will not develop naturally and smoothly, but we expect that the hi-tech trash problem can be eventually tackled.


评析：
本文较为清楚地表达了图画的内涵，段落结构也比较清晰，句式有变换，用词较丰富。
第一段描述的部分，给人一种碎片感，句子之间衔接不紧密。第二段分析现象的部分，言之有物，还以数字作为实证，使文章具有充实感。第三段提出建议的部分，最突出的问题是句子意思不完整。不过你的这篇文章较之前的4篇而言，在逻辑性方面有了一些进步，望继续努力！
评分：14分

As is seen from the two graphs, it’s clear that with the growth of GDP per capita from 1994 to 2001, the money spent on tourists rises on and on (is on the rise) during the same period. Naturally, we can draw the conclusion that the living standard of the (非特指，去掉the) common people has improved a lot.

Three reasons may account for this phenomenon. To begin with, the open policy attracts a growing number of foreign cooperations (corporations) which invest in China Mainland, creating more jobs for the (非特指，去掉the) Chinese. Second, the economy (economic) reform has inserted a series of advanced theories and methods into the traditional industry and the companies owned by the States. (insert…into…使用错误，改为introduced…into…) As a result, the manufacturing efficiency has improved greatly. Finally, with the development of science and technology, more and more factories take advantage of the hi-tech equipment (equipments) to change the structure of their production for the better, (加上关系代词which) bring in much more profit (复数形式profits).


To further develop economy calls for, above all, the government’s efforts to enhance laws(enhance law enforcement或strengthen the legal system),
to regulate the market order, to deepen (加上the) reform and to encourage innovation on the basis of self-reliance (independent innovation). Moreover, common citizens should be honest and self-discipline (self-disciplined) to obey laws. In a word, only when the government and the (去掉the) common people make joint efforts can we hope to further develop productive forces and to achieve common wealth (prosperity).

修改后：
As is seen from the two graphs, it’s clear that with the growth of GDP per capita from 1994 to 2001, the money spent on tourists is on the rise during the same period. Naturally, we can draw the conclusion that the living standard of the common people has improved a lot.

Three reasons may account for this phenomenon. To begin with, the open policy attracts a growing number of foreign corporations which invest in China Mainland, creating more jobs for Chinese. Second, the economic reform has introduced a series of advanced theories and methods into the traditional industry and the companies owned by the States. As a result, the manufacturing efficiency has improved greatly. Finally, with the development of science and technology, more and more factories take advantage of the hi-tech equipments to change the structure of their production for the better, which bring in much more profits.


To further develop economy calls for, above all, the government’s efforts to enhance law enforcement, to regulate the market order, to deepen the reform and to encourage independent innovation. Moreover, common citizens should be honest and self-disciplined to obey laws. In a word, only when the government and common people make joint efforts can we hope to further develop productive forces and to achieve common prosperity.

评析：
本文清楚的总结了图表数字变化的内涵，段落严谨，层次分明。文章句式变换，句子结构基本准确，用词较为丰富，体现了作者的语言功底。但作者出现了一些单复数，定冠词等基础语法错误，望在写作完成后认真检查。此外，在平时的写作过程中，对词语的运用不确定时，要常常向词典讨教。你在文中询问使用interest还是profit，以下是牛津词典关于这两个词的解释。
Profit：①利润，赢利。指的是做生意或卖东西赚到的钱。（可数名词）
②好处，利益。指的是做某事能获得的好处。(不可数名词)
Interest: ①利息。指的是存钱或投资所获得利息。(不可数名词)

②好处，利益。某人或某事的好处或利益。（常用复数）
从词典上的解释看，用profits比较好，表示调整生产结构后，给企业带来更多的利润。

评分：16分

小作文：
Dear Bob:
How are you getting on recently? I was so happy when I know (knew) that you are plan (were planning) to visit my home in the coming holiday. My family are
also glad to receive
you as (加上a) popular guest in my home.

My hometown is a very beautiful seashore city. There are many interesting places worthy of sightseeing. Besides, the local style food here is also well know (known). I have known
from your last lettle (letter) that you have been dreaming of the sea. The place where I live is located near the sea, (加上因果关系连词so) you can walk on the seashore and enjoy swimming in the sea every day.

Hoping (改为：Hope或I am hoping) to see you in my hometown as soon as possible.

Sincerely yours,

Li Ming

修改后：
Dear Bob:
How are you getting on recently? I was so happy when I knew that you were planning to visit my home in the coming holiday. My family are also glad to receive you as a popular guest in my home.

My hometown is a very beautiful seashore city. There are many interesting places worthy of sightseeing. Besides, the local style food here is also well known. I have known from your last letter that you have been dreaming of the sea. The place where I live is located near the sea, so you can walk on the seashore and enjoy swimming in the sea every day.

I am hoping to see you in my hometown as soon as possible.

Sincerely yours,

Li Ming

评析：
本文语言流畅，亲切自然。段落结构清晰，句子基本使用正确，但需注意几处拼写错误。
评分：9分


大作文：
How ironic the picture is in describing one of the most widespread social phenomena concerning diploma and genuine knowledge. As is show in the picture, one climber is moving forward to the diploma by the ladder of regular education. At the same time, the other is climbing with the rope of self-education that it (去掉it) leads up to the genuine knowledge.

The picture can reminds (改为remind) you of some strange, yet familiar phenomena existing in our society. Like the stable steps of ladder, regular education can help people acquire diploma with ease and speed. And many students hold the opinion that diploma is more important than genuine knowledge in looking for a job, so they neglect their studying in the school.
(这两句话在意义上没有并列，不能用and连接。
也可修改为：Some people hold the opinion that diploma is more important than genuine knowledge in looking for a job, so they take regular education, which is just like the stable steps of ladder, for a short cut to acquire diploma with ease and speed. ) On the contrary, like the hard process of climbing with rope, some people who presist (persist) in self education always spend more time and energy on the studying. So they can receive (改为：gain) genuine konwledge (knowledge).

Just as an old saying (加上goes): All that glitters is not gold. The diploma is not equal to the genuine konwledge (knowledge). Some people should change their attitude to going after diploma and should know that regular education institutions are not diploma mills. The genuine konwledge (knowledge) comes from your studying hard (hard studying).

修改后：
How ironic the picture is in describing one of the most widespread social phenomena concerning diploma and genuine knowledge. As is show in the picture, one climber is moving forward to the diploma by the ladder of regular education. At the same time, the other is climbing with the rope of self-education that leads up to the genuine knowledge.

The picture can remind you of some strange, yet familiar phenomena existing in our society. Some people hold the opinion that diploma is more important than genuine knowledge in looking for a job, so they take regular education, which is just like the stable steps of ladder, for a short cut to acquire diploma with ease and speed. On the contrary, like the hard process of climbing with rope, some people who persist in self education always spend more time and energy on the studying. So they can gain genuine knowledge.

Just as an old saying goes: All that glitters is not gold. The diploma is not equal to the genuine knowledge. Some people should change their attitude to going after diploma and should know that regular education institutions are not diploma mills. The genuine knowledge comes from your hard studying.

评析：
本文语言自然流畅，段落清晰，句式变换，用词丰富，体现了作者的语言功底。但要注意的问题是多处的拼写错误，这会影响阅卷老师对文章的整体印象。另外，英语作文除了语言表达能力很重要以外，良好的逻辑也十分必要。
评分：16分

的等等等等等等等等

这套是模拟题么？还是和那本“黄皮书”一样是历年的真题呢？

这个是模拟题还是历年真题呢？

谢谢啦!!!

我顶我顶 楼主大好人

原帖由 静烨思 于 2008-11-29 14:20 发表
这个是模拟题还是历年真题呢？

是模拟题的作文。