张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

原帖由 tammy1535 于 2008-12-31 22:28 发表
Dear Sir/Madam,
    In response to the notice you have posed on the internet, I am writting to give some advices on the library service.
    As far as I am concerned, the library has gained a b ...

Dear Sir/Madam,
In response to the notice you have posed on the internet, I am writting (writing) to give some advices (不可数名词) on the library service.
As far as I am concerned, the library has gained a big improvement through these years. For instance, the capacity of the library has been enlarged several time (times). However, there is still rooms (room) for improvement. For one thing, the opening time of the library should be extended which will (改为to) meet the demand of lots of students who are willing to stay on weekends. For another, the shortage of new books and magzines (magazines) should be given due attention as students are eager to know more about the current world.
Hopefully my suggestion will be helpful and thanks a lot for your kind consideration.
Yours sincerely
Li Ming

评析：
本文内容符合题目的要求，结构层次分明，语言表达通顺，需要注意的问题是单复数问题。
评分：8分

The picture depicts an interesting scence (拼写错误scene). From the eyes of the football player who is going to shoot, the gate guarder is such a big man that it is hardly (注意词性，这里需用形容词形式，改为hard) for him to get a score. However, on the contrary, the gate guarder regards himself to be too little to keep the ball away.

Simply as the picture it (删去) is, the meaning it conveys is thought-provoking. The drawer is liken (liken是动词，运用错误，改为likens) the football player to common people. In our daily life, people often pay too much attention on (to) their oppents\' (opponents’) advantages, regarding them as too strong to defeat, and as a result, lose the chance of success.

There are lots of examples in our everyday life. For instance, who are going to have a job interview hardly surpose themselves as the best, and always believe that others do much better then they(1.缺少主语2.句子结构有问题。改为some people, who are going to have a job interview, seldom regard themselves as the best, and instead, they always believe others do much better than they). Therefore, they lose confidence and may become too nervous to show themselves properly. Finally, they fail in the interview.

评析：
本文对图画寓意的把握基本准确，段落虽然层次比较分明，但是内容安排的合理性有待考虑，文章最后一段仅举了一个例子——一个不自信的人如何一步步地在面试中失败，例子讲完文章就结束了，没有相关的论述或总结或建议。例子本身是为了使抽象的论述易于明白，但是例子本身不能代替论述。
至于文章的语言，文字基本通顺，但是语法和用词错误的情况的改进空间还很大，请作者继续努力！
评分：8分

C

原帖由 liyangqin 于 2009-1-1 13:44 发表
To whom it may concern,
It is my great honour to receive your invitation to be the judge but I would like to say sorry for I can not come.
As you know, there is an importantant academic confere ...

To whom it may concern,
It is my great honour (honor) to receive your invitation to be the judge but I would like to say sorry for I can not come.
As you know, there is an important academic conference at the same day, and I will address a speech during the meeting. Therefore, I am afraid that it might leave no time for me to prepare and attend your English speech competion (competition). To make up, I would like to recommend professor Li, who is also an english (English) teacher, as the judge, if you permit, to stand for my position.
Your understanding will be greatly appreciated, and if there is any other thing I can help please do not hesitate to contact (及物动词，需加宾语me). Finally I sincerely wish your (you) success.
Yours faithfully,
Li Ming

评析：
本文符合题目的要求，段落结构层次分明，语言表达比较流畅，个别拼写和语法错误请注意。
评分：8分

C

原帖由 我就是神 于 2009-1-2 12:49 发表
As is shown in the pictures, a harmonious atmosphere is filled with three generations. A father gives grandfather a chicken joyfully; the grandfather sends the chicken to his grandson with no hes ...

As is shown in the pictures, a harmonious atmosphere is filled with three generations. A father gives grandfather a chicken joyfully; the grandfather sends the chicken to his grandson with no hesitate instead. To the surprise, the son runs to his father and gives the delicious to the father instead of eating it himself. Seeing this situation, both the father and the grandfather laugh happily.

What an admirable family filled with love and respect it is! Loving and respecting parents, in this world, which (where) people are addicted to pursue (to是介词，后面跟动名词形式pursuing) money and benefits only, is invaluable to educate (be invaluable to sb/sth 或者be invaluable in/for doing sth，故此处改为the education of ) our next generation. Respecting parents is (删去) can be said (as) the moral standard of measuring social civilization. The father set (主谓一致sets) an example in front of his son so as to educate his son to love the old by action rather saying. It is the best way that to cultivate people’s awareness of respecting the old rather than (display) logo all around the world. To the contrary, were (if) people did (do) not respect their parents, not only (部分倒装do) the patents break heart, but also their behaviors must be blamed.

As far as I am concerned, no loving parents, no respecting by other people. What is the most important thing you ought to be concerned (无须被动语态，改为concern) about in your life is how to be (a) responsible and heart-loving man, which is the priority while other thing (things) like good job hunting is (are) based on those moral standards to pursue. Only by raising awareness of the important (importance) of respecting and loving parents can our society be made (无需被动语态make) a great progress.

评析：
本文对图画的寓意理解正确，对图画的描写也比较不错，段落结构基本清晰，但是文章的基础语言问题需要引起作者的注意，具体问题已在文中改正，望作者认真分析原因。
评分：10分


C

原帖由 我就是神 于 2009-1-2 12:49 发表
As is shown in the pictures, a harmonious atmosphere is filled with three generations. A father gives grandfather a chicken joyfully; the grandfather sends the chicken to his grandson with no hes ...

As is shown in the pictures, a harmonious atmosphere is filled with three generations. A father gives grandfather a chicken joyfully; the grandfather sends the chicken to his grandson with no hesitate (hesitation) instead. To the surprise, the son runs to his father and gives the delicious to the father instead of eating it himself. Seeing this situation, both the father and the grandfather laugh happily.

What an admirable family filled with love and respect it is! Loving and respecting parents, in this world, which (where) people are addicted to pursue (to是介词，后面跟动名词形式pursuing) money and benefits only, is invaluable to educate (be invaluable to sb/sth 或者be invaluable in/for doing sth，故此处改为the education of ) our next generation. Respecting parents is (删去) can be said (as) the moral standard of measuring social civilization. The father set (主谓一致sets) an example in front of his son so as to educate his son to love the old by action rather saying. It is the best way that to cultivate people’s awareness of respecting the old rather than (display) logo all around the world. To the contrary, were (if) people did (do) not respect their parents, not only (部分倒装do) the patents break heart, but also their behaviors must be blamed.

As far as I am concerned, no loving parents, no respecting (respected) by other people. What is the most important thing you ought to be concerned (无须被动语态，改为concern) about in your life is how to be (a) responsible and heart-loving man, which is the priority while other thing (things) like good job hunting is (are) based on those moral standards to pursue. Only by raising awareness of the important (importance) of respecting and loving parents can our society be made (无需被动语态make) a great progress.

评析：
本文对图画的寓意理解正确，对图画的描写也比较不错，段落结构基本清晰，但是文章的基础语言问题需要引起作者的注意，具体问题已在文中改正，望作者认真分析原因。
评分：10分


C

[ 本帖最后由 peterzjf 于 2009-1-4 17:53 编辑 ]

原帖由 我就是神 于 2009-1-2 12:50 发表
The two pictures vividly depict a man whose different attitudes towards various helps giving me. Seeing a rescue-money, he runs straightly to the money neglecting the official. The second picture ...

The two pictures vividly depict a man whose （who has）different attitudes towards various helps giving me(想要表达的意思不清楚). Seeing a（the） rescue-money(relief-money), he runs straightly to the money neglecting the official. The second picture shows that a technologist gives him a book including sufficient experiences on how to get rid of poverty and further become the rich, however,(用连词but) he refuses to accept it with the posture of waving his hand and head just like an electricity fan.
What a worthy deep thinking (thought-provoking) and typical phenomenon in our country! To some extent, the majority of people hold this idea that only gaining without endeavor(从句结构不完整，改为介词结构of gaining without endeavor). In the real world, there is no success without by plans taking to achieve their great goals. For instance, YaoMing, the famous basketball player all over the world, practices everyday with no excuse like I am exhausted so as to take a rest(句子结构有问题，逻辑表示不清楚，可以另起一句，改为：if I were him, I would be exhausted and want to have a rest). Even when he got hurt in his leg, he firmly insisted on practicing his arm. Had he only advantageous body with no industrious heart, he would never become one of the best players in the world.
It is high time to promote the spirit of fighting for their (指代不明确)destiny. No painstaking, no development. Social development mainly lies in the level of people’s creation and industry（这里要表达的意思不清楚）. Being a college student, what we （分词短语的逻辑主语必须与主句主语一致，改为：being college students, we）ought to care about is how to accomplish a assignment perfectly rather than copy other’s fruits.



评析：
本文层次清楚，意思表达明白。需要注意 1 句式的正确表达 2 论证的逻辑关系。最后一段的最后一句与前文没有过渡，显得论述角度一下变得狭小
评分 10

原帖由 mercury文君 于 2009-1-3 00:00 发表
模拟七
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to recommend my foreign teacher, Bernard E.Hill, for your positon which is advertised in your website.

There are several reasons why I reconmmend him. Fir ...

Dear Sir/Madam,
I am writing to recommend my foreign teacher, Bernard E.Hill, for your positon (position) which is advertised in your website.

There are several reasons why I reconmmend(recommend) him. First of all, as his student, I am confidence of his teaching English abilities (his ability to teach English) and he is greatly responsible for everthing which he does(主句主语必须与短语的逻辑主语一致，这里可以变为confidence of的宾语，改为：his great responsibility). What’s more, he possesses rich experience and special methods on teaching English. In addition(addition), he is a(an) English man and speak (speaks) oral English standards(standard oral English). So I think he is the person who you are looking for.

Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon..

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
评析：
本文层次清楚，内容表述基本明白。需要注意1 短语逻辑主语与主句主语的搭配 2 常用意思的正确英语表达方式
评分 5


As is symbolically depicted in the picture, a man, standing on the top of a stack of inferior products, is blowing a balloon named advertisement. The sight brings about insight into the issue of false advertisement for low-qulify(quality) products among people who are concerned about the problem.

Under current circumstances where the rapid (与名词中心语不搭配)and remarkable technology reform brings new concepts into people’s life, perhaps no changes has characterized the past decade than （as）that of advertising for products. It is generally acknowledged that the manufacturers do more (many) advertisements for products, especially defective products. As the increase(increasing number) of people are pleasure(pleasant) to (go) shopping and purchase cheap goods, the manufacturers whose products are unqulified (unqualified) and less famous are willing to spend more money on advertising to attract consumers’ attention. （思维显得跳跃）As a result, due to these products, the customers become ill. The milk of SanLu can best exemplify the view mentioned above. As is often reported by media, there are more (没有比较对象，不用比较级)unreal advertisements in our daily life.

From my perspective, it is imperative for us to take effictive（effective） measures. On the one hand, the authorities should make more strict laws and regulations to regulate the advertisment（advertisements）. On the other hand, customers should improve the awareness of d distinguishing false advertisements. Only in this way (these ways) can we keep health(healthy) and enjoy happy life.

评析：
本文对图片的描写凝练准确，导入讨论自然得体，具体论证条理比较清楚，结尾自然。需要注意的是词组、句式搭配和单词拼写
评分 12

原帖由 wuyinhero 于 2009-1-3 18:17 发表
第八套大作文
It goes without saying that the drawing aims at revealing a common and serious problem in China: how to be honest in academic activity. Let’s take a closer look at the drawing. A w ...

It goes without saying that the drawing aims at revealing a common and serious problem in China: how to be honest in academic activity. Let’s take a closer look at the drawing. A well-dressed young man is cutting something from another book and then adding it to his own paper. A few weeks later, the cheating paper will be published in some well-known journals. As the caption reads, “Yours is also mine”. It is obvious that more and more young people ignore the honesty principle in researching activity.

Simple as it is, what the picture conveys to us is thought-provoking. With the speedy development of society and economy, a vast majority of adolescents are admitted by universities or institutions to pursue a higher degree. Superficially it seems somewhat reasonable, but when weighing in mind, we will find an apparent tendency underlying this phenomenon: the young always feel tired about experiments days and night, so they choose to copy the achievements of others to finish their own papers. This does more harm to the development of the academic and researching activity than to the young themselves.

Accordingly, it is imperative for us to take drastic measures to reverse this disturbing trend. To begin with, relevant regulations must be made to severely punish those who steal others’ achievements. In addition, we should cultivate the awareness of young people that being honest is of utmost significance to us. Only in this way can we make progress in the scientific studies.

评析：
本文对图画的寓意理解是正确的，文章段落结构比较清晰，语言表达流畅，句式富于变化，用词面比较宽，可见作者的基础语言功力比较不错。
值得指出的是文章第二段的论述缺乏逻辑连贯性。作者先是将经济社会发展了，很多年轻人都获得了高等教育的机会。这个现象与本文的论文剽窃无直接的逻辑联系，因此作者笔锋一转写年轻人厌倦做研究而抄袭别人的文章，就显得行为思路不连贯，缺乏条理。望作者在语言基本功比较扎实的基础上多多练习篇章的写作技巧，尤其是文章的连贯性和逻辑性，相信你一定能写出更优秀的作文！
评分：17分

原帖由 找着找着 于 2009-1-2 18:57 发表
模拟3
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a student in Beijing university. I am now writing this letter to ask for some information about continuing my graduate study at your school.
I major in bridge de ...

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a student in Beijing University. I am now writing this letter to ask for some information about continuing my graduate study at your school.
I major in bridge design,(需另起一句) in addition to required courses of my major, I take an active part in school life. I shall be obliged if you kindly tell me what is need (needed) to offer to apply for your university. And I want to know how many overseas students in your school. My complete resume is attached.
Thanks for your kind consideration and I look forward to your early reply.
Yours sincerely
Li Ming

评析：
本文符合题目的写作要求，较有条理性，句子结构大都符合语法规范。
评分：8分


So vivid and thought-provoking is this extraordinary picture that we are tempted to take another close look and we find a boy’s hand in a computer screen. He need (needs) someone who can help him to (keep) far away (from) Net surf (surfing). It can easily be seen (be easily seen) that it is dangerous and harmful (to) get into habit to Net (of surfing online).

There are many reasons to explain that (改为why) drown in the web sea is harmful and the followings are the typical ones. The first reason is that if a man takes a lot of time in (on) Internet, he have (has) no energy to do other things. It will result in he can’t pass exams (result in sth,故改为his failure in the exams). The second reason is that because some people get into the habit to Net (of surfing online), he can’t tell which is true between real word (world) and Net word (world).

According (Accordingly,) (it) is imperative for us to take concerned measures. First and foremost it is essential that the rules should be worked out to limit the young people to enter (limit sb to sth,故改为entering) the public Net-bar. In addition, we should improve the awareness of people that it is important to have a good Net environment. The last but not the least the media should play a positive role in helping people have other recreation.

评析：
本文对图画的寓意理解是正确的，文章的段落结构比较清晰，但是需要注意的问题是词语搭配和一些语法错误。望继续努力！
评分：10分

C

谢谢楼住的分享，非常感谢，

感谢分享，谢谢楼主！！