张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

原帖由 mercury文君 于 2008-12-24 19:12 发表
第三套 大作文
As is  vividly depicted in the cartoon,our society is going through a wave of junk messages ever witnessed.In the picture,a mobile is busy with receiving messages,which incur jealo ...

Dear Prof. Zhang,
I am writing this letter to invite you to judge a speech competition, which is organized by the student\'s (students’) union.
The contest will be held at 7:00pm on Dec.30th at hall. This speech mainly focus (主谓一致focuses) on economics (economic) crisis which has happened recently.
The purpose to held (of holding) the speech contest is to spell students to reflect on the influence (spell的意思是“招致（灾难）”，spell out倒是有“解释”的意思，你是想表达“向学生解释经济危机的影响”吗？但是reflect一词要表达什么呢) incurred by this economics crisis. As the prestige (词性错误prestigious) economy professor, your participation and judgment would be (去掉be) bring more value (词性错误valuable) information and knowledge.
I would like to express my gratitude for your kind consideration of my request. I look forward to your reply.
yours (Yours) sincerely
Li Ming

评析：
本文层次结构比较分明，需要注意的词性问题和表意不清问题。如果词语运用或者句子结构有重大错误都会导致句子的意思表达不清。
评分：6分


As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, our society is going through a wave of junk messages ever witnessed. In the picture, a mobile is busy with receiving messages, which incur (incurs) jealous (词性错误jealousy) of other three garbage cans, but it is ironic that these numerous messages are all of junk messages.
The picture has showed us a (an) unwilling general agreement that junk messages increasingly is influencing our daily life. With rapid developing (development) of communicative (用词错误，communicative的意思是“毫无隐讳交谈的,爱说话的,畅谈的”，改为communication) technology and increasingly universalizing (并列结构前后的形式要尽量对称，修改为：increasing universalization) of mobiles, people can copy (用词错误，不知要表达的意思是什么) with kinds of things conveniently. Scholars, policymakers and critics of all stripes have debated the social implication (用词不当) of these advances, but few have looked at the side effect: junk messages has come up as well, and thus the really value informations (不可数名词information) are
（is）buried in the sea of it. In addition, it is in the interest of enterprises to (句式错误，改为which) send trash messages for advertising their products--after all, the more junk messages (have been) sent to user (users), the more potential interests there are.
Hence, junk message is not something that we can afford to lose (表意不清) or leave it at large. For one thing, the authorities concerned should not stay out away. Developing filter technology, block those junk messages, to save people\'s time spending on deleting them (此句没有主句，现在分词结构、动宾结构和不定式结构的罗列。修改为：Filter technology needs to be developed so as to block those junk messages and save people’s time on deleting them). For another thing, every citizens (citizen) also can play a key role in insisting that well-meaning (用词不当，意思是“intending to be helpful, but not succeeding”) initiative transfer (should be transferred) into better actions.

评析：
本文对图画寓意的理解是正确的。需要作者注意的是词语的正确运用问题，一个词的词性、搭配、恰当使用都是写作时需要谨慎对待的，随意的使用会妨碍意思的理解和文章逻辑性的体现。本文最大的问题就是意思表达不清，条理层次模糊。
评分：7分


C

才发现这么好的东西

喔,不错嘛,要顶一下

谢谢分享啊！

谢谢楼主！

谢谢了啊

thank you

非常辛苦！太感谢了！

老师，第六套试卷 劳烦修改
Dear Bob,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I wish to express my sincere apologies to you.
To begin with, I take this opportunity to express my heartfelt appreciation to the invitation. This is indeed a good chance for me to communicate with you young people. Unfortunately, I have an important seminar which has been arranged last week to discuss the cultural development both nationally and internationally. So I am afraid that I can not attend your English speech contest. Last but not least, I strongly recommend Professor Wang who is one of my colleagues and who is also well-known in the field of English literature research to be the judge of your competition.
I hope the settlement of the matter will meet your wishes. I am looking forward to your favorable reply at your earliest convenience.
                                                           Yours truly,
                                                           Li Ming

As is vividly depicted in the drawings, an adolescent is giving the delicious food to his father to eat. As soon as the old father gets the food, he takes it to his lovely grandson. Immediately, the little boy gives it back to his father who is very pleased to see this phenomenon. Obviously, this set of drawings do reflect a harmonious family consisted by a little boy, his father and grandpa.
Simple as it is, what the drawings convey to us is thought-provoking. As a country with more than five thousand years’ history, respecting the old has always been the traditional virtue of Chinese culture. Unfortunately, with the speedy development of economy and society, a vast majority of senior citizens are ill-treated by their own children. First and foremost, Some young people shirk their duty of taking care the old due to their own interests. Moreover, while some adolescents enjoy their comfortable lives, their old and helpless parents are neglected and reduced to utter poverty.
Accordingly, it is imperative for us to take drastic measures. To begin with, relevant laws and regulations must be made to severely punish those who shun their responsibility of caring the old. In addition, we should cultivate the awareness of adolescents that respecting the old is of utmost significance to us. Only in this way can our society become more harmonious to live in.

第五套的作文，看了答案，感觉写得不太对头，望老师修改下，劳烦了。
小作文
Dear Sir,
  I am writing this letter for the purpose of thanking you for your warm
hospitality when receiving me last week.During the entire visit,I was
impressed by your enthusiasm which could be illustrated by showing me around
your campus,offering me several bottels of water when urgently needed and
informing me of the ancient history of your university.What makes me more
touched is that you arranged me a chance provided by your tutor to attend one
class of your unicersity.That part would be kept in my mind,for it reminded
me of the difference between our college.
  I am so grateful for what you did for me,and Iwould be delighted to give
you a impressive visit here.Please call me when you are planning to come to
my school.
  yours faithfully,
  LiMing

大作文：
  One can not help but be shocked by these two pictures which make a strong contrast.In the first one,the farmer was so delighted that an official of the government provided him several mounts of money in order to relief the poverty.On the contrary,when the technican offered him technology and knowledge,the farmer shaked his hands,conveying the meaning of refusement.
  Apparently,we can deduce from these pictures that the role of knowledge is overlooked and underestimated in the progress of reducing poverty.The first reason on accout of this weird phenomenon is the sense of value rooted in the mass for almost thousands of years.The general universally considers money more powerful and profitable than knowledge by overlooking its potentials.Other reasons could be drawn such as results of conceptions,lack of publicity and short of input.
  In this highly-civilization society,the realization that knowledge becomes a key role of alliviating poverty should be increased.To begin with,more publicity on the effect of knowledge should be made though the mass medium especially on the Internet.Secondly,the government should provided technical guidiance,employ service and trainings in agriculture skills helping the poor out of poverty.Last but not least,long-run education should be emphasized to open up our mind.