张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

thank you!谢谢啦!!!

好东西，支持！！！

老师 ，第五套试卷得作文  劳烦修改
Dear Bob,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I would like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to you kind assistance you render me during my visit to your prestigious university. Not only was I impressed by the beautiful scenery in your campus, but also did I attend lectures given by some well-known professors in your institution, which enable me to make progress in many ways.
As a university whose history is more than one hundred years, Peking University is famous for her outstanding facultis and hard-working students. I would be much grateful if you can visit here in your free time. I will show you around the campus, and what’more, we will also visit some well-known places in Beijing such as the Great Wall, the Summer Palace and the Bird Nest.
I am looking forward to your favorable reply at your earlist convenience.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

As is vividly depicted in the pictures, an old farmer who is poorly dressed is expressing his gratitude and satisfacion when he has received the donations. On the contrary, he refused to learn science and technology which may help his to get out his poverty by himself. It’s obvious that some people are satisfied with the donations and don’t want to change their current situation.
Simple as it is, what the pictures convey to us is thought-provoking. With the speedy development of economy and socity, the science and technology is playing a more and more important role in the production. People in mounting numbers put great emphasis on the science. Unfortunately, a vast majority of adolescents enjoy their small success and thus lose motivation for futher acheivement. They are not so ambitious to learn advanced technology to improve their working skills. If we let this situation continue as it is, we do not where the young will be in the future.
Accordingly, it is imperative for us to take drastic measures to reverse this disturbing trend revealed in the drawings. For one thing, we should cultivate the awareness of young people that science and technology is of utmost significance to us. For another, we should encourage the adolescents to absorb the advanced technology which may well improve the standard of our life. Only in this way can our sociey become more harmonious to live in.

hehe xeix e

感谢好资料了

thank you!thank you!thank you!

原帖由 wuyinhero 于 2008-12-25 11:06 发表
老师 ，第五套试卷得作文  劳烦修改
Dear Bob,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I would like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to you kind assistance you render me during my visit to  ...

Dear Bob,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I would like to extend my heartfelt appreciation to you(加上for your) kind assistance you render me during my visit to your prestigious university. Not only was I impressed by the beautiful scenery in your campus, but also did I attend (but I also attended) lectures given by some well-known professors in your institution, which enable me to make progress in many ways(这句话的主次信息不如这样处理：but I also made progress in many ways by attending lectures given by some well-known professors in your institution).
As a university whose history is more than one hundred years, Peking University is famous for her outstanding faculties and hard-working students. I would be much grateful if you can visit here in your free time. I will show you around the campus, and what’ s more, we will also visit some well-known places in Beijing such as the Great Wall, the Summer Palace and the Bird Nest.
I am looking forward to your favorable reply at your earlist (earliest) convenience.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
评析：
本文语言流畅，意思表达清楚，总体看来是篇不错的小作文。需要注意：拼写和句式运用
评分 8
As is vividly depicted in the pictures, an old farmer who is poorly dressed is expressing his gratitude and satisfacion （satisfaction）when he has received the donations. On the contrary, he refused（is refusing）to learn science and technology which may help his(him) to get out (of) his poverty by himself. It’s obvious that some people are satisfied with the donations and don’t want to change their current situation(意思总结的不清楚，改为：don’t want to change their current situation by their own efforts).(描写图片用统一的时态)
Simple as it is, what the pictures convey to us is thought-provoking. With the speedy development of economy and socity(society), the science and technology is （are）playing a more and more important role in the production. People in mounting numbers put great emphasis on the science. Unfortunately, a vast majority of adolescents enjoy their small success and thus lose motivation for futher(further) achievement(achievement). They are not so ambitious to learn advanced technology to improve their working skills. If we let this situation continue as it is, we do not where the young will be in the future(意思表达的不清楚).
Accordingly, it is imperative for us to take drastic measures to reverse this disturbing trend revealed in the drawings. For one thing, we should cultivate the awareness of young people that science and technology is of utmost significance to us. For another, we should encourage the adolescents to absorb the advanced technology which may well improve the standard of our life. Only in this way can our sociey （society）become more harmonious to live in.
评析：
本文文笔流畅，论证清楚，需要注意时态和拼写。图片含义论述上有一定问题，图片刻画的是农民对救济金和科学知识的不同态度，如果要借此引发到更广阔的人群，需要过渡。
评分 11

原帖由 mercury文君 于 2008-12-24 19:12 发表
第三套 大作文
As is  vividly depicted in the cartoon,our society is going through a wave of junk messages ever witnessed.In the picture,a mobile is busy with receiving messages,which incur jealo ...

Dear Prof. Zhang,
I am writing this letter to invite you to judge a speech competition, which is organized by the student\'s (students’) union.
The contest will be held at 7:00pm on Dec.30th at hall. This speech mainly focus (主谓一致focuses) on economics (economic) crisis which has happened recently.
The purpose to held (of holding) the speech contest is to spell students to reflect on the influence (spell的意思是“招致（灾难）”，spell out倒是有“解释”的意思，你是想表达“向学生解释经济危机的影响”吗？但是reflect一词要表达什么呢) incurred by this economics crisis. As the prestige (词性错误prestigious) economy professor, your participation and judgment would be (去掉be) bring more value (词性错误valuable) information and knowledge.
I would like to express my gratitude for your kind consideration of my request. I look forward to your reply.
yours (Yours) sincerely
Li Ming

评析：
本文层次结构比较分明，需要注意的词性问题和表意不清问题。如果词语运用或者句子结构有重大错误都会导致句子的意思表达不清。
评分：6分


As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, our society is going through a wave of junk messages ever witnessed. In the picture, a mobile is busy with receiving messages, which incur (incurs) jealous (词性错误jealousy) of other three garbage cans, but it is ironic that these numerous messages are all of junk messages.
The picture has showed us a (an) unwilling general agreement that junk messages increasingly is influencing our daily life. With rapid developing (development) of communicative (用词错误，communicative的意思是“毫无隐讳交谈的,爱说话的,畅谈的”，改为communication) technology and increasingly universalizing (并列结构前后的形式要尽量对称，修改为：increasing universalization) of mobiles, people can copy (用词错误，不知要表达的意思是什么) with kinds of things conveniently. Scholars, policymakers and critics of all stripes have debated the social implication (用词不当) of these advances, but few have looked at the side effect: junk messages has come up as well, and thus the really value informations (不可数名词information) are
（is）buried in the sea of it. In addition, it is in the interest of enterprises to (句式错误，改为which) send trash messages for advertising their products--after all, the more junk messages (have been) sent to user (users), the more potential interests there are.
Hence, junk message is not something that we can afford to lose (表意不清) or leave it at large. For one thing, the authorities concerned should not stay out away. Developing filter technology, block those junk messages, to save people\'s time spending on deleting them (此句没有主句，现在分词结构、动宾结构和不定式结构的罗列。修改为：Filter technology needs to be developed so as to block those junk messages and save people’s time on deleting them). For another thing, every citizens (citizen) also can play a key role in insisting that well-meaning (用词不当，意思是“intending to be helpful, but not succeeding”) initiative transfer (should be transferred) into better actions.

评析：
本文对图画寓意的理解是正确的。需要作者注意的是词语的正确运用问题，一个词的词性、搭配、恰当使用都是写作时需要谨慎对待的，随意的使用会妨碍意思的理解和文章逻辑性的体现。本文最大的问题就是意思表达不清，条理层次模糊。
评分：7分


C

才发现这么好的东西

喔,不错嘛,要顶一下