张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

非常感谢你的辛苦劳动

非常感谢你的辛苦劳动

原帖由 wuyinhero 于 2008-12-14 18:47 发表
老师，这是我写的第三套试卷的作文
Dir Sir or Madom,
   I’m a student majoring psychology who will graduate from Peking University this July.I’m writing this letter to inform you that I wish to ...

Dir Sir or Madom (Madam),
I’m a student majoring (in) psychology who will graduate from Peking University this July. I’m writing this letter to inform you that I wish to continue my graduate study in your esteemed institution and I need some detailed information.
To begin with, as an ambitious young man whose primary interest is in scientific studies, I would like to know about the relevant qulifications (qualifications) that meet with your standards. Moreover, I would be much greatful (grateful) if there are some scholarships available for international students who can not afford the tuition at present. Last but not least, will you please give me some information about the accommodation (常用复数形式accommodations)?
Thank you for your time and consideration. I’m looking forward to your favorable reply at your earliest convenience.
Yours truly,
Li Ming

评析：
本文语言流畅，段落结构清楚，请认真检查一下拼写问题。
评分：9分


As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, there is a computer which has been connected to the internet. On the window screen, an adolescent has been drowned and is struggling painfully to make a living (使用不当，意思是“挣钱谋生”。修改为：survive). It is obvious that he who had been addicted to the internet and computer games lose (loses) his way in the complex reality (他不是迷失在“复杂的现实”中，而是“虚拟的网络世界”，修改为：virtual world).
Simple as it is, what the picture conveys to us is thought-provoking. With the speedy development of science and technology, computer has become one of the most popular instrument (instruments) in our daily life. Not only can we use the computers to solve complex problems and process massive information, but also can we get the latest news through website (句式调整为：We can not only use the computers to solve complex problems and process massive information, but also get the latest news through websites). Unfortunately, a vast majority of teenages (teenagers) fail to realize the function of computers in the right manner. They play computer games day and night, which both waste their time for learning and cause great harm to the development of their mental health.
Accordingly, we should take drastic measures to reverse this disturbing trend. For one thing, we should appeal to the authorities to severely punish those net-bar owners who make their interests at the expense of the development of (去掉) the juveniles. For another, we should cultivate the awareness of young people that we should make use of computers in an appropriate manner. Only in this way can we put an end to this phenomenon revealed in the picture.

评析：
本文的段落层次清晰，文字比较流畅，句式有变换，用词大都准确，语法错误较少。
评分：16分

C

可以当做学习资料啊 很不错呢 谢谢拉

我觉得难啊。。吃力了 。。

原帖由 heimeituoyy 于 2008-12-16 10:33 发表
我觉得难啊。。吃力了 。。

只有在自己原有基础上有所提高，就是胜利！它可能意味着你在实战中提高关键的几分呀！超越自己就是成功！

晕 偶还没有这套题。。。现在还来得及不？？

谢谢分享哦

Dear  sir or madam,
      It affords me much pleasure to recommend Bernard E. Hill to you. Bernard E. Hill is my English teacher. Within his teach all my classmates have great progress in English.
      AS he teach I found he is good teacher. First, he can let us feel English is very interest. Second, he has very please personal. Thirld, he make every time to help others, not only in study, but also any thing. I believe he will be good at the position in an English institution.
      Therefore, I recommend my English teacher to you with all my heart. Thank you for your kind consideration and I look forward your reply.
                                                                            Yours sincerely
                                                                           Li Ming



So vivid and though-provoking is this extraordinaly picture, it tempted we take another close look an we find a man stand high, under his is many production. It is so big “ballon” that the man will make it bigger. On the “ballon” it is advertisement. It can be easily be seen that advertisements is not always true.
There are many reasons can explan that phenomenon and following are typical ones. The first reason is that following the speedy development eonconomic and compition, more and more company prefer to advertise their production, how to tempt the people to buy? They will exaggeration to their production. In addition, some company want to earn more money, they will tell people the production have some fuction, in fact it not have. Therefore many advertisements is not true and people become distrust it.
Accordingly it is imperastive for us take concerned measure. First and foremost, it is essential to make rule to limit the advertisements is not true. Second, we should improve awareness of people that not trust advertisements blind. At last but not least the media also play apostive role, in helping get realize the harm of exaggeration advertisements. In dealing with this problem, it is not exaggeration to say “action makes better, otherwise it will be worse. ”

怎么看修改