【考研1号】“作文修改”活动——【第四期2005年真题“养老足球赛”+“啃老族”】

西南—默默 发表于 2013-11-2 15:24
我除了觉得你的部分句子确实需要修改 去掉一些中式英语的感觉之后 没觉得有什么严重的问题啊

大神快帮我改改吧~就是写的慢···考场上写不出来，这个是大问题···

咦，没想到这么早就更新题目了。
来晚了，不过还是希望不是最晚的。

选的 题二：啃老族

      The contents of the above drawing are pretty simple. There is an envelope from college. And there are only three Chinese characters in this letter: dad, money and son. Obviously, the meaning is a son demands his father to remit him some money.

      Although, it seems like a terrible brief memo, the implication behind it is clear and profound enough to know that it reflects a social phenomenon. At present time, lots of young adults still live a life that relies on their parents as non-grown-up children, especially the students in universities. Surely they cannot afford their expensive tuition or keep up with the accelerated house price by their own hands; however, this cannot be an excuse for being childish and asking for financial backing without inhibitions.

      I will always support the following means to solve this problem. Firstly, if the dependent ones are adults who have a job already, as parents, you should tell them honestly and insist that you cannot and will not offer financial support with no good reasons anymore. Moreover, if the ones are still youngster who have no source income, you should take regular talks about what future they would desire most and they should think about it seriously because you cannot instead them to live their own life. This could help them advance their independent personalities. I believe that these measures would work if they truly listen to you with all their hearts.

   As is dipicted in the drawing above,an unfold letter which comes from a son to his father reads only
one word,money.Theenvelope under the letter implys that the son is a colledge boy.
   The drawing vividly shows us a very common social phenomenon, the"NEET group".With a require
of the high academic background,more and more graduates from colledge are facing a severe job
hunting problem ,as a result,they lost their job or don't even have a chance to take one,and then
they turn back to their parents,who's getting old and,more or less, can't make enough money to
afford all necessary expense of the family,to ask for money.
   As a colledge student,I think it's old enough to make money or at least spear no effort to do
something we can to help reducing a burden of the family,meanwhile,parents should try their best
not giving money to their kids all the time.Only in this way can they learn how to grow up and take
responsibilities.

(老师辛苦了，谢谢！)

才看到，明天马上写！老师要等我！

悠弥北北 发表于 2013-11-2 15:29
大神快帮我改改吧~就是写的慢···考场上写不出来，这个是大问题···

我手上还压着几个人的作文没改完呢~~

        Of all  the components of relationships, the relationship between parents and children is supposed to be unselfish and unconditional. However, what we see from the picture above that a brief letter from a son to a father, only has one word–"money" is exactly opposite. The picture mirrors a common phenomenon in current society that the young people especially colleagues are extremely dependent and self-centered, and they contact their parents only when they need money.       There are several driving forces behind the phenomenon. For one thing, ever since the birth control, almost every family only has one child. The children already become precious to parents. Therefore, all the fertilizers ——attention, money, and love from parents are applied on one crop——their only child.  For another, the young people are spoiled, and obsessed with their own comfort and benefits. Without hard-working attitude and excellent working skills, they have no choice but hide in their ivory  tower their parents create.
          As time goes by, without efficient strategies to solve this problem, the bad influence will sharply increase. The radical solution is to stop providing the all-around protection from parents for young people. The American can stand on their own when they  are 18. Why cannot we? In addition, more education should be promoted to help the youth cultivate good quality like independence and piousness.

西南—默默 发表于 2013-11-3 00:19
我手上还压着几个人的作文没改完呢~~

那好办啊~~~先压着他们的~~~改我的啊~~~也不枉咱们姐妹一场~~~

悠弥北北 发表于 2013-11-3 11:31
那好办啊~~~先压着他们的~~~改我的啊~~~也不枉咱们姐妹一场~~~

去shi  你最多也就是我的小弟  不着急的可以先发我邮箱~

来晚了，今年第一次写英语作文，感觉还没磨好刀，先就这篇了，老师我字写的不好，打分的时候请多扣几分，谢谢老师的批改！

    This picture presents us an urgent letter sent by a young man in college to his father.Rather than concerning the work or health condition of his family,the son wrote for nothing besides asking for money.Just imagine the father's disappointment when he open the envelope and sees the excessively brief letter.
    Nowadays,quite a few young men at an age of starting their own career and earning their livings themselves are still supported by the former genaration which themselves usually set out sustaining live without the help of other forces.Indeed,the society is becoming more and more competitive as it develops,but that couldn't be a legal excuse for young people including college students to seek economic help from family.Generally speaking,he problem may lie in themselves!College students are in a period of transition from university to society.Many students probably fail to prepare themselves enough for the future,thus relying on parents out of habit as bofore.For some,they aren't even aware of their social responsibilities and keep enjoying life just as they are kids.

没事来看看呗，要翻页了。
The given picture conveys a normal phenomenon in nowadays china which is children consider their parents as a burden,just like the cartoon depictd---four kids regard their own old father as a ball and they are kicking him far way form their own place.
How could this be? Economic downturn and unemployment may affects this poorly,but the main reason about the  appearance is the moral deficiency,chasing their own interests become more crucial than take the responsibility for their parents,especially when chidren have their own kids,they will get lots of stuff to deal with,including take care of the food and clothing,studying,physical or psychological demands.
While government emphasizes the old people supporting issue----The old man cannot provide for themselves and old people's psychological demands,for example----some  reasonable solution is,that regular old people's social security system,advertising the virtue of chinese,and I think things will gets better if we come together with one heart!