张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

第七套作文，劳烦修改

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a student majoring in English literature in Peking University. I’m writing this letter to inform you that I strongly recommend Bernard E. Hill, who is well-known in the field of English language research for the position in your prestigious institution.
To begin with, as a native American, Professor Hill not only has a profound understanding about the English culture, but also is good at communicating with ambitious young people. Moreove, with more that twenty years’ teaching experience, he has gained respect from all his students and colleagues, and is still making progress in the reseach activity. So it is my view that Professor Hill will be the best candidate.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours turly,
Li Ming




     This picture does reflect a common and serious problem in China: the reliability of the advertisement. Let us take a closer look at the drawing. An adolescent, who stands on a platform, is trying his best to make the balloon-the advertisement as big as possible. It’s obvious that some bussiness men are in pursuit of commercial interest that they ignore the honesty princeple.
     The purpose of the drawing is to tell us that due attention has to be paid to the bussiness advertisement. With speedy development of economy and society, a vast majority of adolescents are involved in the bussiness activity. Unfortunately, while they become rich or run their own enterprises, they forget that being honest has always been the traditional virtue of Chinese culture. By using unreliable and exaggerated advertisement, they become rich but lose trust from we consumers.
     Accordingly, it is imperative for us to take drastic measures to reverse this disturbing trend. To begin with, we should appeal to the authorities to severely punish those bussiness men who are cheating consumers. In addtion, we should cultivate the awareness of young people that being honest is of utmost significance in the bussiness activity. Only in this way can we curb the evil phenomenon revealed in the drawing.

原帖由 wuyinhero 于 2008-12-30 17:04 发表
第七套作文，劳烦修改

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a student majoring in English literature in Peking University. I’m writing this letter to inform you that I strongly recommend Bernard E. Hill, w ...

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a student majoring in English literature in Peking University. I’m writing this letter to inform you that I strongly recommend Bernard E. Hill, who is well-known in the field of English language research for the position in your prestigious institution.
To begin with, as a native American, Professor Hill not only has a profound understanding about the English culture, but also is good at communicating with ambitious young people. Moreover, with more that (than) twenty years’ teaching experience, he has gained respect from all his students and colleagues, and is still making progress in the research activity. So it is my view that Professor Hill will be the best candidate.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours truly,
Li Ming

评析：
本文涵盖了题目中的信息要点，结构层次有条理，语言表达比较流畅，句子结构和用词基本正确。
评分：9分


This picture does reflect a common and serious problem in China: the reliability of the advertisement. Let us take a closer look at the drawing. An adolescent, who stands on a platform, is trying his best to make the balloon--the advertisement--as big as possible. It’s obvious that some bussiness (business) men are in pursuit of commercial interest (表示“利益”时常用复数形式) that (that使用错误，你想表达“太……以至于……”的意思需要用“so……that……”，此处可以简单改为：but) they ignore the honesty princeple (principle).

The purpose of the drawing is to tell us that due attention has to be paid to the bussiness (business) advertisement. With speedy development of economy and society, a vast majority of adolescents are involved in the bussiness (business) activity. Unfortunately, while they become rich or run their own enterprises, they forget that being honest has always been the traditional virtue of Chinese culture. By using unreliable and exaggerated advertisement, they become rich but lose trust from we consumers.

Accordingly, it is imperative for us to take drastic measures to reverse this disturbing trend. To begin with, we should appeal to the authorities to severely punish those bussiness (business) men who are cheating consumers. In addition (addition), we should cultivate the awareness of young people that being honest is of utmost significance in the bussiness (business) activity. Only in this way can we curb the evil phenomenon revealed in the drawing.

评析：
本文对图画的寓意理解是正确的，文章内容切合题意，并涵盖了题目要点。作者行文思路比较清晰，文章主题得到了突出，结构层次较为分明。句子与句子，段落与段落之间采用了一定的衔接手段，过渡比较自然。语言表达通顺自然，用词也大都准确。
评分：13分

C

支持一下 谢谢

As is symbolically depicted in the picture, on the table, have a computer screen, a mouse and a keyboard. A hand appear on the screen, which maybe stand for  “help”. The sight brings about insight into the issue of addicting in Internet among people who are concerned about the problem.

On current circumstance where the rapid and remarkable technology reform bings new concepts into people’s life, perhaps no changes has characterized the past decade than that of more young people addict in Internet. It is generally ackowledged that more youngsters indulge in cyberspace and computer games. Today’s adolescents, as is suggested by educators, are exposed to technology more directly. As the increasing of people visiting Internet, the person who is lack of self-control will addict in the Internet. There are many cases can be best examplify the view mentioned above. As is often reported by media, a great number of children are indulging in sufing and fail to seek for their own targets.

From my perspective, it is crucial for us to take effictive measures. For one thing, relevant department should make stronger regulations to forbid adults surfing. For another, we should enhance the awareness of excessive surfing is harm for our health and development. Only in this way can we enjoy the convencience and have a brighter future.


Dear Sir/Madam,
I would be grateful if you could be kind enough to provide me with the following information.

I am a student of Beiing Unibersity, and study computer skill at school. After graduation, I want to continue studying on the aspect in your university, MIT. I have passed TOEFL and have aquired some computer certifications. I would like to know what qualificaion you need. Would you pealse introduce your course arrangments and tuition fees? Finally, I also feel like to know if there is sholarship for forgein students.

Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

                                                                                                                                  Yours sincerely,
                                                                                                                          Li Ming

原帖由 mercury文君 于 2008-12-31 13:05 发表
As is symbolically depicted in the picture, on the table, have a computer screen, a mouse and a keyboard. A hand appear on the screen, which maybe stand for  “help”. The sight brings about insi ...

As is symbolically depicted in the picture, on the table, have (严重语法错误There are) a computer screen, a mouse and a keyboard. A hand appear (主谓一致appears) on the screen, which maybe stand for “help”. The sight brings about insight into the issue of addicting (用词不当addiction) in (搭配介词错误to) Internet among people who are concerned about the problem.

On (介词搭配错误In或者Under) current circumstance (常用复数形式) where the rapid and remarkable technology reform bings (brings) new concepts into people’s life, perhaps no changes has characterized the past decade than that of more young people addict in (are addicted to建议查字典弄清楚addict的用法) Internet. It is generally ackowledged (拼写错误acknowledged) that more youngsters indulge in cyberspace and computer games. Today’s adolescents, as is suggested by educators, are exposed to technology more directly. As the increasing (用词不当，那是形容词，改用名词形式increase) of people visiting Internet, the person who is lack of (用词错误，改为lacks) self-control will addict in (be addicted to) the Internet. There are many cases can be (删去) best examplify (exemplify) the view mentioned above. As is often reported by media, a great number of children are indulging in sufing (1.拼写错误surfing 2.表意不清，改为Internet surfing) and fail to seek for their own targets.

From my perspective, it is crucial for us to take effective measures. For one thing, relevant department should make stronger regulations to forbid adults (禁止成年人上网？) surfing (on line). For another, we should enhance the awareness of excessive surfing (Internet surfing) is harm for our health and development. Only in this way can we enjoy the convenience and have a brighter future.

评析：
本文对图画意义的阐述是正确的，段落层次基本分明。但是文章的语法和用词错误过多，比如there be句型表示“在某地方有什么”都未能正确使用，对于这样的基础问题望作者一定要认真对待。
评分：7分

Dear Sir/Madam,
I would be grateful if you could be kind enough to provide me with the following information.

I am a student of Beijing University, and study computer skill at school. After graduation, I want to continue studying on the aspect (用法不当，改为that major或者in that major field) in your university, MIT. I have passed TOEFL and have aquired (acquired) some computer certifications. I would like to know what qualificaion (qualification) you need. Would you please introduce your course arrangments (arrangements) and tuition fees? Finally, I also feel like to know if there is sholarship (scholarship) for forgein (foreign) students.

Thank you for your consideration. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely,
Li Ming

评析：
本文涵盖了题目要求的信息要点，句子结构基本正确。但是文中拼写错误过多，语言表达不够通顺自然。
评分：5分


C

thank you!thank you!

楼主太强大了

Dear Sir/Madam,
    In response to the notice you have posed on the internet, I am writting to give some advices on the library service.
    As far as I am concerned, the library has gained a big improvement through these years. For instance, the capacity of the library has been enlarged several time. However, there is still rooms for improvement. For one thing, the opening time of the library should be extended which will meet the demand of lots of students who are willing to stay on weekends. For another, the shortage of new books and magzines should be given due attention as students are eager to know more about the current world.
    Hopefully my suggestion will be helpful and thanks a lot for your kind consideration.

                                                                                                                                                             Yours sincerely
                                                                                                                                                                 Li Ming

       The picture depicts an interesting scence. From the eyes of the football player who is going to shoot, the gate guarder is such a big man that it is hardly for him to get a score. However, on the contrary, the gate guarder regards himself to be too little to keep the ball away.
        Simply as the picture it is, the meaning it conveys is thought-provoking. The drawer is liken the football player to common people. In our daily life, people often pay too much attention on their oppents\' advantages, regarding them as too strong to defeat, and as a result, lose the chance of success.
        There are lots of examples in our everyday life. For instance, who are going to have a job interview hardly surpose themselves as the best, and always believe that others do much better then they. Therefore, they lose confidence and may become too nervous to show themselves properly. Finally, they fail in the interview.

To whom it may concern,
It is my great honour to receive your invitation to be the judge but I would like to say sorry for I can not come.
As you know, there is an importantant academic conference at the same day, and I will address a speech during the meeting. Therefore, I am affraid that it might leave no time for me ta prepare and attend your English speech competion. To make up, I would like to recommend professor Li, who is also an english teacher, as the judge, if you permit, to stand for my position.
Your understanding will be greatly appreciated, and if there is any other thing i can help please do not hesitate to contact. Finally I sincerely wish your success.
Yours faithfully,
Li Ming

好题，一定好好看看