张剑 曾鸣《考研英语最后冲刺8套题》答疑专贴（已经开始作文修改了）

小作文
Dear Sir or Madam,
    I am writing this letter for the purpose of requsting acadamic information. Since I am a senior, I am planning to continue my study in your shcool. I have heard lots about the significant performance of your school, so I am eager to study in your unversity after my graduation at the suggestion of my best friend.
    I should be obliged if you would offer me the details of any schoolship or fellowship which is available in your school to overseas students. Please send me a catalog and the procedure of application for adimission to your school. In addition, I would like to receive other more information on other aspects such as tuition and housing.
    I sincerely hope you would send me the relate materials and forms needed at your ealiest convenience. Thank you very much.
   Sicerely yours,
   Li Ming
大作文
This unique picture vividly depicts a scene of a poor person getting drawn of the web sea, with his struggling hands still visible. Undoubtly, this shocking cartoon strongly conveys the idea that the internet addiction becomes a more serious social problem. Just question yourself, how many hours a day would you spend in surfing on the net? What is more, a recent survey showed the percentage of anscendon crimes was dramatically increased contributed to the Internet addiction.
    It is a truth universally acknowledged that the cause of Internet addiction divides into two parts. For one, it is the means of Internet itself that is to blame. Since the development of the nets, the speed-up of the information transmitting fastens the social communication, while for those whose curiosity is particularly strong, it may lead them to violence and gambling. For the other,in the psychologists\' view, Internet could bring more satisfaction to those depressed with the reality. The virture method could create the sense of success, the feeding of superior and the satisfiction of strong-power and such things never had happened all through his life.
    I strongly recommend that some measures should be taken to deal with this serious problem.Firstly,on account of the lack of supervision,to build a clean net environment is the key to solve this problem.In addition,more attention should be paid to those poor either in physical or in psychological.Last but not least,laws on Internet secure should be drafted and implemented in order to create a positive net enviroment.

[ 本帖最后由 peter19871029 于 2008-12-20 12:17 编辑 ]

这是我写的第四套试卷得作文 劳烦修改
Dir Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I wish to express my sincere aplogy to you.
To begin with, I would like to extend my heartful appriciation for the opportunity you provide that I can work with you and other colleagues. This will be a good chance for anyone who want to improve his working skills. Unfortunately, as a young man whose primary interest is in scientific studies, I have passed the entrance exam for graduate students and now I am admitted by Peking University as a postgraduate student. This is indeed a great chance that corform to my previous training and strength. So I am afraid that I have to decline the offer you provide.
Once again, please accept my sincere appologies for any inconveniece my leaving may cause.
                                                      Yours turly,
                                                            Li Ming

As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, a small tree is growing fast with the help of a supporting stick. Unfortunately, when moved out the supporting stick, inevitably, the tall tree falls down. It is obvious that trees living in an ideal condition can not keep independent when they are exposed to the natural environment.
Simple as it is, what the picture conveys to us is thought-provoking. The supporting stick eptomizes parents’ doting care which shelter the children from the competitive world. Therefore, once meet with some setbacks, immense amounts of young people will feel frustrated and lose heart inevitably, which may well lead to tragedy of some kind. In fact, it has been universally acknowleged that being independent is the essential qualification that anyone who wants to achieve success should possess.
Accordingly, it is imperative for us to take some measures to reverse this disturbing trend revealed in the picture. We should bear in mind that keeping indepent is of utmost significance to the younger generation.Only in this way can we overcome any difficulties and hardships in front of us and only in this way can we achieve success.

非常感谢你的辛苦劳动

haahhhahaah

很好。不知道有没有地道的呢

楼主真的太辛苦了，这个帖子含金量极高！狂支持

As is symbolically conveyed in the cartoon,nerver before has communication served to connect different peoples and nations so much as in recent years.As the picture depicts,the\"communication\"bridge span a huge grap,connecting two individual areas together.
The purpose of the picture is to show us that communication has play a key role in insisting that sufficient,effective communications can eliminate conflicts and produce diversity.It is clear that people are more easier to contact with others living in different corner of the world,which is conducive to increase undertandings and friendship of each other and thus relief the tension brought bu culture shock.In addition,it is communication that essentially makes the society and its people diverse,colorful and open-minded.2008 Olympic Games,which present a new and real china to all the world,strenthenging the intercourses of peoples having different culture backgroud,which can be best examplify the views mentioned above.
In my opinion, the support for communication as a huge inpluse, a advantage to be used adn fixed in the mind of all people,is definitely right and neccessary.Generally speaking, conmunications are the best choice if a nation wished to adapt a open-minded way of progressing.

How.to.ease.your.pressure

原帖由 peter19871029 于 2008-12-20 10:44 发表
小作文
Dear Sir or Madam,
    I am writing this letter for the purpose of requsting acadamic information. Since I am a senior, I am planning to continue my study in your shcool. I have heard lo ...

小作文
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter for the purpose of requsting (requesting) acadamic (academic) information. Since I am a senior, I am planning to continue my study in your shcool (school). I have heard lots about the significant performance of your school, so I am eager to study in your unversity (university) after my graduation at the suggestion of my best friend.

I should be obliged if you would offer me the details of any schoolship (scholarship) or fellowship which is available in your school to overseas students. Please send me a catalog and the procedure of application for adimission (admission) to your school. In addition, I would like to receive other more information on other aspects such as tuition and housing.

I sincerely hope you would send me the relate materials and forms needed at your ealiest (earliest) convenience. Thank you very much.
Sicerely (Sincerely) yours,
Li Ming

评析：
文章是一封咨询信，符合书信的写作规范，用语比较得体。本文语言表达较为流畅，段落结构层次分明，但是文中的拼写错误过多。
评分：8分


大作文
This unique picture vividly depicts a scene of a poor person getting drawn (drowned) of (in) the web sea, with his struggling hands still visible. Undoubtly (undoubtedly), this shocking cartoon strongly conveys the idea that the internet addiction becomes a more serious social problem. Just question yourself, how many hours a day would you spend in surfing on the net? What is more, a recent survey showed the percentage of anscendon (拼写错误，你可能想用ascending表示上升，但是和后面的increase重复) crimes was (have) dramatically increased contributed to (1.句式错误，此处需加上关系代词which 2.contribute to 后面接导结果，此处很明显网瘾是犯罪率上升的原因。修改为：which may be attributed to ) the Internet addiction.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the cause of Internet addiction divides (can be divided) into two parts. For one, it is the means of Internet itself that is to blame. Since the development of the nets, the speed-up of the information transmitting fastens the social communication (fasten的意思是“扎牢，系牢”，用词错误。此外即使此处用“accelerate”表示“加快”也与前面的speed-up重复。修改为：the development of information transmitting speed up social communication), while for those whose curiosity is particularly strong, it may lead them to violence and gambling. For the other, in the psychologists\' view, Internet could bring more satisfaction to those (who are) depressed with the reality. The virture (virtual) method could create the sense of success, the feeding of superior and the satisfaction of strong-power and such things never had happened all through his life.

I strongly recommend that some measures should be taken to deal with this serious problem. Firstly, on account of the lack of supervision, to build a clean net environment is the key to solve this problem. In addition, more attention should be paid to those poor either in physical or in psychological. Last but not least, laws on Internet secure (词性问题security) should be drafted and implemented in order to create a positive net enviroment (environment).

评析：
文章对图画的描写比较清晰简明，观点鲜明，论述的条理较为清楚，句式上有变化，有一些语法和拼写错误，请继续努力！
评分：12分

C

原帖由 wuyinhero 于 2008-12-20 15:39 发表
这是我写的第四套试卷得作文 劳烦修改
Dir Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I wish to express my sincere aplogy to you.
To begin with, I would like to extend my heartful  ...

Dir Sir or Madam,
I am writing this letter to inform you that I wish to express my sincere aplogy (apology) to you.

To begin with, I would like to extend my heartful appriciation (appreciation) for the opportunity you provide that I can work with you and other colleagues. This will be a good chance for anyone who want (主谓一致，wants) to improve his working skills. Unfortunately, as a young man whose primary interest is in scientific studies, I have passed the entrance exam for graduate students and now I am admitted by Peking University as a postgraduate student. This is indeed a great chance that corform (conform) to my previous training and strength. So I am afraid that I have to decline the offer you provide.

Once again, please accept my sincere appologies (apologies) for any inconveniece (inconvenience) my leaving may cause.

Yours truly,
Li Ming

评析：
本文结构比较清晰，语言较为流畅，符合书信的写作规范，需要注意的是文中的拼写错误。
评分：8分


As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, a small tree is growing fast with the help of a supporting stick. Unfortunately, when moved out the supporting stick, inevitably, the tall tree falls down. It is obvious that trees living in an ideal condition can not keep independent when they are exposed to the natural environment.

Simple as it is, what the picture conveys to us is thought-provoking. The supporting stick eptomizes (epitomizes) parents’ doting care which shelter the children from the competitive world. Therefore, once meet with some setbacks, immense amounts of young people will feel frustrated and lose heart inevitably, which may well lead to tragedy of some kind. In fact, it has been universally acknowleged (acknowledged) that being independent is the essential qualification that anyone who wants to achieve success should possess.

Accordingly, it is imperative for us to take some measures to reverse this disturbing trend revealed in the picture. We should bear in mind that keeping indepent (independent) is of utmost significance to the younger generation. Only in this way can we overcome any difficulties and hardships in front of us and only in this way can we achieve success.

评析：
内容切题，文章比较清楚地表达其内涵，文字基本连贯，句式有一定变化，文章长度符合要求。但请注意文中出现的一些拼写错误。
评分：14分


C