请大家帮我改改作文啊 书信

diretions:
  you want to study at a certain foreign university .Write a letter to ask about the situation there as regard accommodation and fees,possible scholarships,and what qualifications one needs for acceptence.



Dear Sir or Madam,
     I am a Chinese undergraduate from WuHan university who major in electronic enginerring,and wish to apply for a admission into your esteemed institution for a futher degree.I would be much grateful if you would be kind enough to provide me with essential information.
     Firstly,what is the specific qualification/demand of applicant? My study performance is excellent and oral english is my strenghth.Secondly,how much the tuition fees every year? Any possible scholarships for international student?I would delighted if the answer is positive. Finally,could you describe the detailed accommodation?
     I look forward to you reply at your earliest convenience,thanks for you.
                                                                                                                       Yuours sincerely,
                                                                                                                        LiMing

绿色那里介词对吗？
红色那里能改成the annual tuition fees 吗？ 好像也是每年的意思 但是总觉得是在什么年度峰会才用那个词啊.
蓝色那里应该2个次都可以吧 我要表达的是要求  qualification 好像主要表示证书吧 虽然也有条件 要求的意思

apply for a admission into  去掉a
I would be much grateful if you would be kind enough to provide me with essential information
两个 would be 很别扭，改。

what is the specific qualification/demand of applicant

qualification 应该用复数，the可能不加。of没错。

how much the tuition fees every year?
缺少be动词 直接用tuition即可，没必要强调每年这个概念。

Any possible scholarships for international student?
Is there any scolarships available for international students?

Finally,could you describe the detailed accommodation?
没看懂

I look forward to you reply
you-->your 后面那一点我不晓得对不对。

thanks for you
貌似没这么表达的。
两个例句：
I would like to express my thanks for all that you have done.
Thanks for helping, you're a sweetie.

呵呵 大家多相互交流相互学习

the 为什么不加呢？
那句是 你能描述一下住宿的详细情况吗？


   感谢版主啊，肉牛满面！！！

大侠指点下啊  我水平实在不咋地啊！  学习学习

引用第3楼lei84320123于2010-11-23 23:06发表的 回 1楼(白草00) 的帖子 :
the 为什么不加呢？
那句是 你能描述一下住宿的详细情况吗？


   感谢版主啊，肉牛满面！！！
.......

先更正一下哈，
那个available后面接to 接for是表功能的，解为供什么之用。解to才是表对象。

the 那个我也不确定，你再问问吧。

那句我就不帮你写了，头痛得很。