Free考研资料 - 免费考研论坛

 找回密码
 注册
12
返回列表 发新帖
打印 上一主题 下一主题

求改文!求批评!求吹毛求疵!(新写06年真题作文)

[复制链接]
11#
 楼主| 子书十二 发表于 13-10-21 17:27:49 | 只看该作者
苹果爱桔子 发表于 2013-10-21 10:32
2005年考研英语大作文 “养老足球赛”     With the Chinese Words which means(我认为这里可以不用) “Foo ...

红的绿的很清晰。
谢谢斑竹。

我发现我在细节上的逻辑顺序不太清晰。
能用的词组、词太少,还是背的少。
有些临时凑句子,写出来就不太顺,感觉很矫情,有些生硬。

下次得用笔写出个大纲来再写作文。

评分

参与人数 1金币 +30 收起 理由
苹果爱桔子 + 30 请继续加油哟!!

查看全部评分

12#
苹果爱桔子 发表于 13-10-21 21:36:40 | 只看该作者
子书十二 发表于 2013-10-21 17:27
红的绿的很清晰。
谢谢斑竹。

尝试写,并且去提高,这就是很大的进步,相信你一步一步会更好,期待你的进步!!
13#
 楼主| 子书十二 发表于 13-10-22 21:52:15 | 只看该作者
本帖最后由 子书十二 于 2013-10-24 13:27 编辑

2006年考研大作文“贝克汉姆”   
   There are two pictures which have a same message—Beckham, who is a famous English soccer player. The left picture has one person with Beckham’s name written on his face, while the right one has another man waiting for a haircut called “Beckham’s style”, which will cost him 300 Yuan.
   These two photos reflect a clear reality that our society is swept by “Beckham hurricane”, a symbol of popular culture. Among of pop culture, it is not only in sports field, but also Pop music, movie industry and so on. For instance, the fans of Jane Zhang, a singer who won second runner-up of Voice of Girls, named themselves “Liangfen” after the first character of Jane’s Chinese name. And the fans know every single songs of Jane, send her cards and flowers, and even pick up her every airplane.
   It is my view that such phenomenon has two distinct aspects. On the positive side, it connects people together, through the idol, sharing same interests and values. Thus, it could be seen as a kind of social communication which would be a great means to ignite our inner passion. On the contrast, pop culture has a powerful strength to influence people. At times, the affection is a good one. Nevertheless, most of the time, it could bring bad effects. Hence, we should hold our own views of what is true or essential. Only in this way, can we not be guided to the wrong road.

想来想去,还是决定在一个帖子里发文。
还是厚颜来求改文。
14#
yangyuanhaoyun 发表于 13-10-23 13:23:03 来自手机设备或APP | 只看该作者
第一段是不应该是out of?
15#
 楼主| 子书十二 发表于 13-10-24 12:21:30 | 只看该作者
yangyuanhaoyun 发表于 2013-10-23 13:23
第一段是不应该是out of?

是的
已经被斑竹改过来了
您需要登录后才可以回帖 登录 | 注册

本版积分规则

联系我们|Free考研资料 ( 苏ICP备05011575号 )

GMT+8, 24-9-22 09:42 , Processed in 0.100479 second(s), 12 queries , Gzip On, Xcache On.

Powered by Discuz! X3.2

© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.

快速回复 返回顶部 返回列表