帮忙改文

05年作文   From the above drawing,we can learn that four adauts are standing in front of their goals seperately and refuse to accept their old father.The poor father who like a ball is being throated from one child to another.   This is longer a new phone. The moral problem should be took more problems it own.With the parents being old.Someone are longly since their companion dead and no children want to look after their old father or mother.The help from the children are less than the neighbor.   "I'm not the only child,my parents have other children."Somebody says.If you own this view.You are wrong and please change it now.We will be old.We will need help and concerned from our children. So take a good model for your sons and daughters. You take care of your parents, your children will do the same thing for you. 小作文 Dear Mr Wang,   How fast the time is going. I have been there two months.   First of all,thanks for your help.I'm very happy to work for the magazine Designs and Fashions as an editor.I'm enjoy everyday's.   But now,I'msorry to tell youthat I can't workthere .Because my home is so long to our company. Everyday I should wake early and take two hours bus. I have been late for many times.If it continues ,I will be paid nothing. I think I have done my best. But it didn't  be better. I want to find a new job near my home.   I hope you can prove my request  and I'm looking forward to you reply.

感觉字数不够，可以多写点题外话

可以加些这样的“废话”，去扩充你的文章。
例如，from the report issued by China daily，the problem of population ageing will be increasingly serious by 2030.
For the recent years,a succession of utility advertising,mainly by China government, sounded the alarm. Necessary measures and severe laws protecting senior citizens should be carried out...............等等
这样一写，你的文章就会觉得很充实

  发现第一句不对，应该是I have been there  for two months.
对吗

建议找一些高级点的词，本人四级刚过，每个单词我都认识，这个就不高级啦

5月的阳光 发表于 2011-11-18 12:48
感觉字数不够，可以多写点题外话

谢谢你的建议 我觉得我还是背的作文太少

renkouyanjiu 发表于 2011-11-20 17:14
建议找一些高级点的词，本人四级刚过，每个单词我都认识，这个就不高级啦

哦 第一 我单词记得不太好 我不太敢用太深奥的 我怕没用好还把分丢了 不过我会尽量

fishwxx 发表于 2011-11-19 21:24
发现第一句不对，应该是I have been there  for two months.
对吗

谢谢  不过让我想想  我叶不知道了  其他的对么？