大家能帮我批改一下作文吗？我写的是2003年温室花朵的那篇

   As is vividly depicted in the drawing, a pretty flower is demonstrating its attractive beauty in a comfortable greenhouse designed for it, in spite of storm outside. Although it seems that nothing can deprive it of its happiness, it fades once it exposes to the heavy storm when the greenhouse is removed.

   Simple as the picture is,the meaning it conveyed is thought-provoking. Who cannot withstand the pressure from the outer environment is not mere the flower,we can find many counterparts of it’s among we teenagers. Since a majority of this generation is the only child in their families, they have received unprecedented attention and affection from their family members, which to some extent just like a warm greenhouse. However, the society we live in is not always a friendly world where we can enjoy a peaceful life without facing challenges or dangers. On the contrary, on one can avoid encountering heavy rain---tough trials that only we bear the teast of it can we expect a promising life.

   Accordingly, we should practice our ability to deal with hard conditions depite we have grown up in a loving greenhouse. After all,no one can stay under a shelter for a lifetime.

As is vividly depicted 这个开头有几万人用了，都是徐绽害的

我后来知道太泛滥了，决定改