My fellow classmates, (1)I am sure you still remember the day you got the acceptance letter from the college. You were excited. You were happy. You uttered a big sigh of relief. You were very proud to tell your parents, your teachers, your relatives and your buddies, “I made it! I made it!” After all, we all had been working hard for this day to come.
When we come to the college, we are surrounded by a new environment. We meet new classmates. College life is sweet and wonderful. We all come to a time to love as well as to be loved. This is a very natural and inevitable thing. (2)We want to have fun like all other young people our ages do. This is fine and it is understandable. But some of us get confused about the main focus at college. Some of us assume that the college is a rose garden. Some of us just want to idle the time away and have fun with their sweethearts.
Boys and girls, college life is wonderful. But we can’t just idle our life away. We have set new goals. We face new challenges. I don’t know whether you have realized that the world is getting smaller and flatter. It is more like a global village now. We face more and more competitions and pressures from all over the world. If we want to grow and flourish in a flat world, we need to think globally. We’d better learn how to change and align ourselves with the fast changing world. We have to constantly upgrade our skills. There will be plenty of good jobs out there in the flat world for people with the knowledge and ideas to seize them.
Boys and girls, let me tell you this loudly and clearly: Romance can wait. Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.
哈尔滨理工大学信息管理学院 何会刚
【评语】本篇习作主要论述了大学校园里谈恋爱的现象，作者先摆事实，然后又讲道理，同时表明了自己的立场，即珍惜美好时光、努力学习、迎接挑战，最后作出总结。文章分析到位，结构完整，行文较流畅，语言运用也较准确，但个别的地方仍需注意一下。
【改进建议】(1)应改为 I am sure you still remember the day when you got the acceptance notice from the college，这是一个由when引导的定语从句，when不能省掉；
(2) 建议改为We want to have the same fun as all other young people of our ages do。 |
收藏
点赞!
反对!