It is not uncommon nowadays that more and more college students rent houses off the campus. There is a growing trend towards students’ moving into the neighborhood housing around university campuses.
This idea of living off campus appeals much to the students who believe it gives more freedom to them. As is known to all, university dormitories are usually shared by at least 6 students thus they are often too crowded and noisy to be the ideal learning or resting places. (1)What’s more, student dormitories are not furnished with modern facilities such as TV sets and washrooms, so it is inconvenient.
However, not everyone approves of this opinion. Those who harbor reservations about this practice argue that living off campus may lead to the disorder in the universities’ disciplining their students, who are still not mature enough to distinguish the right from the wrong. Thus uncontrolled freedom often brings about insecurity and uncertainty. (2)Besides, living off campus would reduce the chance of making friends. What’s more, renting houses may add extra financial burden to the students’ parents.
In my opinion, I prefer to living on campus, which makes me feel more a part of the university community. I really love campus life. I like to study late in the university libraries where I can easily get access to plentiful book collections and information resources. I also like to participate in various kinds of campus activities, such as playing basketball with my classmates, or attending some evening lectures that I’m interested in. Consequently, I believe it’s not advisable for the college students to live off campus, and the university authorities should assume the responsibility to ensure their students’ safe and healthy grwoth.
江苏警官学院 张弛
【评语】本篇习作以在校大学生校外租房这一现象的长短处为主要内容,以作者自己的观点或评论作为结论。作者首先对比阐述了两种不同的观点并一一论证,最后作者明确表达了自己的立场,认为还是住在校园内好,并陈述了自己选择住在校园内的原因,希望学校能加强对在校学生在外租房的管理,以保障学生健康安全的成长环境。文章层次清晰,观点明确。语言方面用词灵活多样,句式多变,自然流畅。
【改进建议】(1)应改为What’s more, student dormitories are rarely furnished with modern facilities such as TV sets and washrooms, which causes much inconvenience to the students’ daily life;
(2) 建议改为Besides, living off campus would inevitably reduce the chance of interacting with other students and promoting some valuable friendship。 |