Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to appreciate the wonderful services that you offered in the beach resort, and to give our compliments to the beautiful landscape of the resort heartily. Yester ... [/quote]
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to appreciate the wonderful services that you offered in the beach resort, and to give our compliments(compliment 表示“对某人的赞赏或者致意”，用在这个语境不合适，改为：show our admiration) to the beautiful landscape(landscape主要表示“陆地上的景色”与文中要表示的海景不符合，改为scene) of the resort heartily（副词的位置错误，应该放在give前面）. Yesterday, my friend Bob and I ended the vacation in your resort. The wooden lane along the sea line, the clean and soft sand and (并列短语间，在最后一个词语前用“and”，这里用逗号)the blue sky and seawater were remained (1.remain不用于被动式；2.remain的意思是 “仍然，保持不变”的意思，需要一个前文的对照，意思用在这里也不合适；3 当说不可忘记的景象时，一般用将来时，改为： will always be) an unforgettable image （主语与表语数量不一致，前面例举了几个场景，这里需要用复数，改为：unforgettable images）of us. Also, we must mention that the plants preservation (plants preservation表示“植物保护”；用plant preserve表示“植物保护区”)and the biodiversity in the Daya Island were（这篇文章，着眼于现在写的，用现在时，改为：have been）the most exciting memory of ours（our most exciting memory）.(表意不完整，改为：we must mention that visiting plant preserve and enjoying the biodiversity in the Daya Island have been our most exciting memory)
Meanwhile, I really appreciate your earnest and careful work, which keeps （of protecting） the beautiful nature landscape. We expect that we can return to have another wonderful experience.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
评析：
本文作为一封感谢信，语气诚恳真挚，内容详实。词汇丰富，过渡衔接自然，表达比较流畅，体现了作者一定的语言功底。但在选词，时态以及个别句子的叙述上还有些不如意之处。
评分：7
修改后的文章：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to you to appreciate the wonderful services that you offered in the beach resort, and to heartily show our admiration to the beautiful scene of the resort. Yesterday, my friend Bob and I ended the vacation in your resort. The wooden lane along the sea line, the clean and soft sand ，the blue sky and seawater will always be unforgettable images of us. Also, we must mention that the visiting plant preserve and enjoying the biodiversity in the Daya Island have been our most exciting memory.
Meanwhile, I really appreciate your earnest and careful work of protecting the beautiful nature landscape. We expect that we can return to have another wonderful experience.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
The given cartoon vividly shows the feeling of a farmer who walked in the city road. He was very curious about the ‘chips’ under the transparent road surface. (意思表达的不清楚) ‘Are the chips of supercomputer（1句子不完整，2 图中不能看出电脑芯片，这句话放在这里不能理解，改为：Are they the ads of supercomputers）? Is the digital age here?’ He spent a lot of time to learn (learning) the concept of ‘supercomputer’. Meanwhile, a city lady was utilizing the(a) real digital production(product)—telephone—to talk with somebody in a telephone box, which was full of (covered with) advertisements. In deed（用词不恰当，改为：In fact）, what the farmer was curious about just was (was just) the city advertisement.
Nowadays, lots of advertisement firms try hard to advertise the productions (production 表示“生产”，“产品”用product表示)of their clients in city. From the common television advertisement (advertisements) to the Internet ones, and(then) to the newest one: advertisement(advertisements) printed on the road surface, the city advertisements deep (1.deep不能做动词，渗透用 “ penetrate” 表示2. 用完成时更好，改为have penetrating )into the (去掉the) every aspect of city life. Of course, the revenues of the firms reach the higher ones（文章中没有出现比较，这里用比较级不合适，另外用the firms 做主语显得更自然，改为：the firms can have high revenues）, but the advertisement still has the (its)harmful side(建议另起一句) to lure people to open their wallet and to exaggerate the effect of the production.(表达的逻辑不清楚，改为：it may lure people to blindly open their wallet by exaggerating the effects of the products)
In my opinion, it is high time to review the current advertisement regulations. On one hand, the place which is fit for the advertisement must be narrowed (limited/restricted，表达不地道，修改见后面). On the other hand, the government should reinforce the examination to (of) the content (contents) of advertisement (advertisements). Only in this way can we have a comfortable and clean urban life. (改为：comfortable and clean city)
评析：
本文形象地描写了图片内容，抓住了图片的内涵，并进行了适当的延伸说明，段落严谨，层次分明。文章句式变换，句子结构基本准确，用词较为丰富，体现了作者的语言功底。但在语言运用和作文构思上，仍有需要注意的地方。在语言运用发面：注意选词的准确，词语之间的搭配，以及句式的完整。在构思方面：图片描写的过长，应该再凝练些，二段中铺述部分比较长，相比起来，广告的负面影响论述就显得不充分。
评分：16
修改后的文章：
The given cartoon vividly shows the feeling of a farmer who walked in the city road. He was very curious about the ads. “Are they the ads of supercomputers”? Is the digital age here?’ He spent a lot of time learning the concept of ‘supercomputer’. Meanwhile, a city lady was utilizing a real digital product—telephone—to talk with somebody in a telephone box, which was covered with advertisements. In fact, what the farmer was curious about was just the city advertisement.
Nowadays, lots of advertisement firms try hard to advertise the products of their clients in city. From the common television advertisements to the Internet ones, and to the newest one: advertisements printed on the road surface, the city advertisements have penetrating into the every aspect of city life. Of course, the firms can have high revenues, but the advertisement still has its harmful side. It may lure people to blindly open their wallet by exaggerating the effects of the products.
In my opinion, it is high time to review the current advertisement regulations. On one hand, there should be restriction on the places where advertisements are permitted. On the other hand, the government should reinforce the examination of the contents of advertisements. Only in this way can we have a comfortable and clean city.
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