最近疯狂迷上怪医豪斯,撇开那些艰深拗口的医学名词不谈,这片子俨然是福尔摩斯探案集和CSI的ER版本,当然本片最大的魅力还是来自于那位尖酸刻薄却又料事如神的怪医豪斯. 豪斯的妙语奇谈俨然是个医生版的魔鬼词典,既令人捧腹,又使人深思.
Dr. Foreman: Isn"t treating patients why we became doctors?
医治病人难道不是我们成为医生的原因吗?
House: No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.
不,医治疾病才是我们做医生的原因,医治病人则是医生痛苦的根源.
House: People don"t want a sick doctor.
人们不喜欢生病的医生.
Dr. Wilson: That"s fair enough, I don"t like healthy patients.
那很公平,我也不喜欢健康的病人.
Dr. Foreman: Oh, Cameron, I need you for a couple of hours.
Cameron,你有空吗?
Dr. Cameron: What"s up?
什么事?
Dr. Foreman: When you break into a house, its always better to have a white chick with you.
闯空门的时候,有个白人女性陪着比较保险.
House: What would you prefer - a doctor who holds your hand while you die or who ignores you while you get better?I guess it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die.
哪种医生你比较喜欢-在你临死时会陪在你身边的医生或者是当你病情好转后不再搭理你的医生?我猜你最讨厌的是当你快死的时候不再搭理你的医生.
Dan"s Mother: How can you just sit there?
你怎么能就这么坐在那边?
House: If I eat standing up, I spill.
如果我站着吃东西,就会洒出来.
House: Another reason I don"t like meeting patients. If they don"t know what you look like, they can"t yell at you.
我不喜欢见病人的另一个原因就是,如果他们不知道你的样子,他们就没法冲你大吼大叫.
Dr. Wilson: You will lie, cheat and steal to get what you want, but you"re incapable of kissing a little ass?
你为了得到你要的结果可以坑蒙拐骗,无所不用,怎么就不能稍稍拍拍马屁呢?
House: Well, we all have our limitations.
恩，人总是有缺点的.
House: No, there is not a thin line between love and hate. There is a Great Wall of China with armed sentries posted every 20" between love and hate.
爱与恨并非只有一线之隔,爱与恨之间隔着一道十步一岗,五步一哨的中国长城.
House: Lift up your arms. You have a parasite.
抬起你的手臂,你体内有个寄生虫.
Jill: Like a tapeworm or something?
你是说象绦虫一类的东西?
House: Lie back and lift up your sweater.You can put your arms down.
撩起你的毛衣,躺下,把手放下来
Jill: Can you do anything about it?
你能除掉它吗?
House: Only for about a month or so. After that it becomes illegal to remove, except in a couple of states.
在大多数洲里,除掉超过一个月大的这种寄生虫是非法的.
Jill: Illegal?
非法的?
House: Don’t worry. Many women learn to embrace this parasite. They name it, dress it up in tiny clothes, arrange playdates with other parasites...
别担心,很多女人都会喜欢她们的寄生虫,给它起名字,穿衣服,还让它和其他的寄生虫一起玩.
Jill: Playdates…
House: (showing her sonogram) It has your eyes.
它的眼睛很象你(这位女士怀孕了)
Dr. House: The most successful marriages are based on lies. You"re off to a great start.
成功的婚姻都是谎言的基础上建立起来的,你已经开了个好头.
Dr. Wilson: I"m still amazed you"re in the same room as a patient.
真令我惊讶,你居然还和患者呆在一间屋子里.
House: People don"t bother me until they get teeth.
没长牙的小家伙我倒不怕.
House: What do you know about the nun?
你对那个修女有什么看法?
Dr. Chase: Which one?
哪一个?
House: The cute one. I think she likes me. The sick one, obviously.
漂亮的那个,我想她喜欢上我了. 当然是生病的那个!!!!
House: It turns out your best judgment is not good enough. Here"s an idea - next time, use mine
事实证明你最有把握的诊断还是不够好,不如这样吧,下次试试我的主意.
Luke: Is this a good hospital?
这家医院好吗?
House: Depends on what you mean by "good". I like the chairs.
这得看你对好医院的定义了,我喜欢这里的椅子.
House: As long as you"re trying to be good, you can do whatever you want.
只要你尽力了,就表示你可以做任何你想做的事情
Dr. Wilson: And as long as you"re not trying, you can say whatever you want.
只要你不去尽力,你就可以说任何你想说的话.
House: So between us, we can do whatever we want. We can rule the world!
那么说我们两个人加起来就做任何事,说任何话了，我们可以一起统治世界了.
Dr. Wilson: I love my wife.
House: You certainly love saying it.
House: You told me you hadn"t changed your diet or exercise. Were you lying?
Samantha: Lying?
House: Does your husband have high blood pressure?
Samantha: My husband?
House: Yeah, see, if you"re going to repeat everything I say, this conversation"s going to take twice as long.
House: So what"s her name and when do I get to meet her?
她的名字叫什么,我什么时候能见到她?(盘问Wilson的约会对象)
Dr. Wilson: There"s nobody! Give it up!
别瞎猜了,根本没这回事
House: Your lips say no, but your shoes say yes.
你嘴上说不,可你的鞋子泄露了真相(WILSON换了双漂亮的新鞋)
Dr. Wilson: They"re French. You can"t trust a word they say.
它们是法国货,法国人的话一句都不能信.
Dr. Foreman: Why are you riding on me?
你为什么对我这么刻薄?
House: It"s what I do. Has it gotten worse lately?
我就是这样子,最近我变得更厉害了吗?
Dr. Foreman: Yeah. Seems to me.
对我来说是的.
House: Really? Well, that rules out the race thing. You were just as black last week.
真的吗?那么肯定不是种族歧视的原因了,你还和上周一样的黑.
Dr. Cameron: I"ll check into it.
Dr. Foreman: I"ll make the call.
Dr. Chase: I"ll keep the kid alive. For a while at least.
House: I"ll have lunch.
Dr. Foreman: The kid was just taking his AP calculus exam when all of a sudden he got nauseous and disoriented.
这个孩子在微积分考试当中突然感到恶心眩晕.
House: That"s the way calculus presents.
当然这是微积分的作用啦
House: I assume "minimal at best" is your stiff upper lip British way of saying "no chance in hell"?
我认为你说的"有可能"就是"根本没指望了"的英国表达方式.
Dr. Chase: I"m Australian.
我是澳大利亚人
House: You put the Queen on your money. You"re British.
你们把女王的头像印在钱币上,你们就是英国人.
House: You"re certainly boss. Like a wet tongue sticks to dry ice.
House: Like I always say, there"s no ‘I" in team. But there is ‘me" if you jumble it up.
象我常说的,团队里没有我存在,不过要是你把它打乱了,倒是有个ME存在.
Julia: I thought you were supposed to be listening to our patient histories?
我认为你应该听我们讲解病史
House: No, I"m supposed to be teaching you. If I can do that without listening to you, more power to me.
不,我应该教导你们诊断病例,如果我不用听你们讲解就能诊断出来,那我就更加NB了.
Dr. Cameron: Yeah, I I trusted you.
House: You always trust me. That"s a big mistake.
House: I take risks - sometimes patients die. But not taking risks causes more patients to die. So I guess my biggest problem is I"ve been cursed with the ability to do the math.
我承担风险,有时病人会死,但如果我不冒风险,更多的病人会死,所以我最大的毛病就是我已经学会了算术.
Dr. Cuddy: Answer me.
House: Nothing I could say is going to change how you feel, and nothing could come out of your reaction that is going to change what I plan to do. So I prefer to say nothing.
不管我说什么都不会改变你的想法,不管你说什么都不会改变我的做法,所以我宁可什么也不说.
Dr. Foreman: You know, House shouldn"t even be here!
Dr. Chase: Because he said something inappropriate? If we sent him home every time he did that, he"d never be here. We wouldn"t even need his office.
Dr. Wilson: She"s beautiful!
House: She"s beautiful so I should do it? What kind of logic is that?!?
Dr. Wilson: The envious, jealous "I"m married and I can"t do anything" logic!
Dr. Wilson: She"s hot so she"s a hooker? What kind of pathetic logic is that?
House: The envious, jealous "I never got any in high school" logic. Hello?!?
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House: I always say if you’re going to get shot, do it in a hospital.
我总是说如果你要挨枪子的话，最好的地方还得是在医院里。（近水楼台先得月）
Moriarty: You think that the only truth that matters is the truth that can be measured. Good intentions don’t count, what's in your heart doesn't count, caring doesn’t count, that a man's life can't be measured by how many tears are shed when he dies. It's because you can't measure them. It’s because you don’t want to measure them. Doesn’t mean it's not real. And even if I'm wrong, you’re still miserable. Did you really think that your life’s purpose was to sacrifice yourself and get nothing in return? No. You believe there is no purpose to anything. Even the lives you save you dismiss. You turn the one decent thing in your life and you taint it, strip it of all meaning. You're miserable for nothing. I don’t know why you'd want to live.
MORIARTY：你认为唯一有价值的真实是那些可以被衡量的真实，所以善意并不算数，好心也不作数，关怀也不重要，一个人的价值并不能用他葬礼上洒落的泪水来衡量。其实这是因为你并不想去衡量这些东西，而不是因为他们并不重要。即使我错了，你依旧活的悲惨可怜。你真的认为生命的意义在于牺牲自己而一无所求？ 不，你是个不相信任何意义的虚无主义者。 就连你拯救的那些生命你也视若无物，你行善事却无善心，你活的悲惨是因为你一无所有，我不知道你为什么还能继续活下去。（HOUSE的自我批判可真是够毒的，果然是严于律人，更严律己啊！）
House: Sevens marry sevens, nines marry nines, fours marry fours. Maybe there’s some wiggle room if there's enough money or if somebody got pregnant. But you’ve got at least three points on your husband and your frock says he didn't do it for the money and your breasts say you haven't had any kids.
Judy: So you figure my marriage is a mathematical error.
HOUSE： 龙配龙，凤配凤，乌龟配王八。如果某人有钱或是怀孕的话可能还有点灵活的空间，可是你至少比你丈夫高3分，而你的外套说明你不缺钱，而你的胸脯又说明你还没有生育过。
JUDY： 所以你认为我的婚姻是个概率学上的错误。
House: Here's how life works: you either get to ask for an apology or you get to shoot people. Not both
HOUSE： 我的哲学是：你要么要求别人道歉，要么射他两枪，不能两样都要。（应该先让人道歉再开枪而不是反之）
Dr. Cameron: She’s a Katrina victim.
House: She's better than Crandall – he’s a Katrina victim victim
CAMERON： 她是Katrina台风的受害者。
HOUSE： 她比CRANDALL好多了，他是Katrina台风受害者的受害者。
House: Ideas are not soda cans. Recycling sucks. Give me something new and shiny.
HOUSE： 主意可不象可乐罐一样可以循环利用，给我点新鲜的。
Dr. Foreman: (about his father) He's not proud of me, he's proud of Jesus. Everything I do right is God's work, everything I do wrong is my own damn fault.
FOREMAN： 他才不会为我感到骄傲，他是为耶酥而骄傲，我做对的每件事都是上帝的功劳，我做错的每件事都TMD是我自己的错。
Dr. Cuddy: (to House) I can’t even imagine the backward logic you used to rationalize shooting a corpse.
House: Well if I shot a live person there's a lot more paperwork.
CUDDY： 我都无法想象你怎么跟我“合理”的解释射击一具尸体这件事。
HOUSE： 恩，如果我开枪射个活人的话会有更多的文件要处理。
(doing introductions)
House: Wilson! This is Dry Cleaner Guy. Tax Accountant. Guy from the bus stop. This is Wilson.
Dry Cleaner: How come he gets a name?
House: Seniority.
HOUSE：（HOUSE家的打牌聚会）WILSON，这位是干洗店员，这个是税务会计，公车司机，这位是WILSON
干洗店员： 怎么就这家伙有名字？
HOUSE：他比你们的资格老。
Dr. Chase: You're going to talk to a patient?
House: God talks to him. It'd be arrogant of me to assume I'm better than God.
CHASE：你打算和这个病人谈话？（这可真不象HOUSE啊）
HOUSE：连上帝都和他谈话，我还没有傲慢到认为自己比上帝还强的地步。（也差不了多少了）
House: God ever talk to you when you were in the seminary?
Dr. Chase: Ummm... no.
House: God's loss, our gain.
HOUSE：在神学院的时候上帝和你交谈过吗？
CHASE：没有
HOUSE：那可是上帝的损失啊，倒是便宜我们了。
House: No - you talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you - you're psychotic.
HOUSE： 你和上帝交谈，你是基督徒，上帝和你交谈，你是精神病。
Dr. Chase: I vote for neurofibromitosis.
House: Why?
Dr. Chase: Because the other choices suck worse.
CHASE：我认为病人得的是neurofibromitosis（别问我这是啥东东）
HOUSE：为什么？
CHASE：因为其他的选项要糟糕的多。
(House stops Foreman from writing on the whiteboard)
House: Sorry, there's a reason they call it the whiteboard. It's not my rule.
HOUSE：（阻止FOREMAN往白板上写字） 对不起，人们叫这个做“白”板是有原因的。
Ronald: I assume House is a great doctor?
Dr. Chase: Why would you assume that?
Ronald: Because if you’re that big a jerk you’re either great or unemployed.
RONALD：我猜HOUSE是个名医。
CHASE：为什么你会这么想？
RONALD：因为象他那么混的人如果不是特别有本事的话肯定找不到饭碗的。（有道理，各位找不到工作的人得看看究竟自己是没本事呢还是个性有问题了。）
House: (discussing Alex's breasts) Two clinic hours says that those love apples are handcrafted by God.
Dr. Foreman: I thought you didn't believe in God.
House: I do now.
HOUSE：这两个小时的诊断我确定了一件事，她的乳房是上帝的杰作。
FOREMAN：我以为你不信上帝的。
HOUSE：现在我信了。
Dr. Foreman: House! You can't do this!
House: Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I've heard that.
FOREMAN：HOUSE，你不能这么做。
HOUSE：噢，如果每次我听到这话能得到一角钱的话，我早成百万富翁了。
Stella: What's wrong with your foot?
House: War wound.
Stella: Does it hurt?
House: Every day.
Stella: Is that why you're so sad?
House: Oh aren't you adorable. I'm not sad, I'm complicated - chicks dig that. One day you'll understand.
STELLA：你的脚怎么了？
HOUSE：战争受的伤。
STELLA：它疼吗？
HOUSE：每天都疼
STELLA：所以你看起来才这么忧伤吗？
HOUSE：你真可爱，这不叫忧伤，这叫做深沉，女孩子就喜欢深沉的男人，等你长大了就明白了。
Dr. Chase:We’ve got an MRI scheduled in twenty minutes. Earliest Foreman could get the machine
House: I teach you to lie and cheat and steal, and as soon as my back is turned you wait in line?
CHASE：我们的MRI排在二十分钟以后，这已经是FOREMAN的最大努力了。
HOUSE；我教了你们那么多的坑蒙拐骗，我刚一走开你们就去老老实实的排队？
Dr. Wilson: Do you know your phone’s dead? Do you ever recharge your batteries?
House: They recharge? I just buy new phones.
WISON：你知道你的手机关机了吗？难道你就不会去充电吗？
HOUSE；这手机还能充电啊？我每次都是再去买个新手机。
Dr. Chase: Gambling doesn’t take away (House’s) pain.
House: It does when I win.
CHASE：赌博并不能消除你的病痛。
HOUSE： 我赢的话就可以。
Stacy: If Chase screwed up so badly, why didn’t you fire him?
House: He has great hair.
Stacy: What are you hiding?
House: I’m gay. Oh…that’s not what you meant. It does explain a lot though. No girlfriend, always with Wilson, obsession with sneakers…
STACY：如果是CHASE搞砸了，为什么你不炒了他？
HOUSE：他的头发很漂亮。
STACY：你到底在隐瞒什么？
HOUSE：我是同性恋，哦，那不是你想问的。不过这到是解释了很多事情，没有女友，老和WILSON在一起，总是穿运动鞋。。。（GAY和运动鞋有什么关系？ |
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