[优秀习作选登]Different life styles

(1) Though English people and American people speak the same language, but they have different characters and life styles.

English people are not very open; most English people are cold and (2) gentlemen-like. While American people are frank and hospitable; they may start conversations with people in the street or in the subway. (3) If English people talk to each other, they always keep a certain distance, so for English people it takes a comparatively long time to make friends. American people, when they talk to someone, they (4) like to stand closer to each other. They speak their minds; if they don’t like something, they actually let you know directly. In Britain, no one tries to disturb others. Life in Britain is slow; but it is very safe, more relaxed and much more enjoyable. Life in America is efficient and convenient. If you want to repair something or need some services, they will come to you as soon as you can imagine.

All in all, English people and American people are different in their backgrounds. We should respect their different traditions and life styles.

                                                     (王一喜)

[评语] 本篇习作话题讨论了英国人和美国人的个性和生活方式的差异。文章论题明确，论点细致、充分，语言简洁。在重点段落中多使用对比说明的方式，对照比较两国的差异。如能采用连词、转折词等进一步表明层次，则文章思路更为清晰。另外在个别句子结构以及选词方面应多加注意。

[改进建议] (1) 应改为 Though English people and American people speak the same language, they have different characters and life styles；

(2) 应改为gentleman-like，或gentlemanly，意为“绅士风度的，似绅士的”；

(3) 应改为 When English people talk to each other；

(4) 可改为 tend to，表示常有的倾向、某种趋势，而非故意的意愿。

                                                                           刊登于08-09年第20期

谢谢楼主分享。