那位哥哥姐姐给我点评一下我的作文

这是我根据2008考研小作文写得，题目是给学校的图书馆馆长针对他们的服务写一封100字的建议信！
希望大家踊跃点评


Dear Sir,
I’m a senior of our university.I think the students of our university have tird of your service.
The order of the books is unreasonable,especially the English books.If not,the students will find the available books quickly. Then,there is a little new book in our library,we all expect to read some new books in the future.Fanillay,maybe the open time of our library could be last until 9:30p.m.
I’m looking forward to you.I want to see a new aspect of our library.Hope you enjoy your work.
Liming.

首先：语气过于生硬！
其次：建议太多而碳的不深刻！
再次：最后李明前面应该加Yours sincerely
。。。。。。。。

建议先粘到word里面进行一次错误修改后，再拿到论坛上来~~

有想法啊!!!!