[优秀习作选登]Causes and effects of computer

With the rapid development of information technology, the world is becoming more and more reliant on computers. However, due to the growing number of hacking activities, the computerized world is no longer safe. (1) The issues raised by hacking become more concerning than ever before.

The reasons why hacking is prevalent are multiple. The motivations that encourage hackers to direct the hacking activities could be the most important factor. There are indeed several hackers (2) treat hacking as an interesting hobby to find out how many computers can be cracked. (3) Unfortunately, more hackers are hacking for malicious inclinations. In general, (4) they gain unauthorized access to systems to steal credit card numbers, bank account details and other financial or business information. Obtaining such information will bring them money directly, which could be considered as the motive of profits.

The consequences of computer hacking are serious and dangerous. For individual users, apart from the huge financial damages and the leakage of private information caused by the hacking, computer cracking may cause frustration and fear to individuals when they use machines. The bad effects on organizations and corporations are more serious. Hacking not only brings financial loss, but affects companies’ reputations negatively.

In conclusion, hacking causes huge damages to both individuals and organizations. To prevent the illegal attack of hacking, more efforts are required by the whole society.

(方磊)

【评语】 本篇习作如题所示，谈论了计算机遭受黑客攻击的原因以及后果。文章主题明确，条理清晰，分析合理，是比较完整的说明文写作。在用词造句方面，句式多样，句法正确，表达灵活，体现了作者较高的英语语言运用能力。

【修改建议】(1) 应改为The issues raised by hacking are attracting more attention than ever before；

(2) 应改为treating，动名词作后置定语修饰前面的名词；

(3) 应改为However，在语义上与前文内容对照；

(4) 应改为they illegally gain access to。

谢谢楼主分享。