【考研1号】“作文修改”活动—【第五期2009年真题“网络的近与远”+“手机依赖症”】

    首先，非常感谢大家对于我们考研1号与免费论坛发起的免费修改作文活动的支持。现在发布第五期活动的话题，这也是我们最后一期的活动，大家积极参与哦！
    但是，由于发送作文的考生越来越多，加之现在处于考研的冲刺阶段，我们编辑部还有很多事情要处理。因此，我们近期不能逐一为大家修改作文，恳请大家见谅！后期我们一有时间就会修改未修改到的作文，所以大家不要沮丧。无论有没有修改到你的文章，看看其他人的作文点评以及总结对自己都有好处。同时，大家之间也可以相互修改和指正，以求共同进步。考研1号编辑部在此祝大家写作进步，考研成功！


本期活动也提供两个话题，一是《写作160篇》话题“手机依赖症”，一是2009年真题“网络的“近”与“远”，大家择一来写。
话题一：《写作160篇》话题“手机依赖症”
Directions:
Study the following picture carefully and write an essay. In this essay, you should
1. describe the picture and interpret its meaning;
2. explain its intended meaning, and then
3.  express your opinions about the problem.
You should write 160-200 words neatly on
ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)



话题二：2009年考研真题作文——“网络的“近”与“远””
Directions:
In your essay, you should
1) describe the drawing briefly,
2) explain its intended meaning, and then
3) give your comments.
You should write neatly on ANSHWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

免费考研论坛与考研1号联合发起“作文修改”活动要求地址：
http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/thread-840736-1-1.html
【第一期活动地址】
http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/thread-840747-1-1.html
【第二期活动地址】
http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=841724&fromuid=2763297
【第三期活动地址】
http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/thread-842536-1-1.html
【第四期活动地址】
http://bbs.freekaoyan.com/thread-843152-1-1.html

新的一期，我还是要好好写。我是在这期话题发出来之前就把这个真题作文写好了，看到后就用手机抢了楼，晚上又用电脑发的作文。
话题二：2009年考研真题作文——“网络的“近”与“远””

    What a worrying scene it is! In the drawing, everyone lives in his own world with a computer. The cyberspace which like a net is separated into pieces and the distance is both far and near in the virtual world, just as the caption in the drawing reads.

    The drawing reflects an undeniable and undesirable phenomenon in today’s society:the ignorance of social relationship with the development of Internet. This is a dangerous and detrimental trend for both the family and society. On the onehand, someone is too addicted in the cyberspace to have enough time to communicate with his family members. Such behaviors may destroy the happiness of family. On the other hand, the ratio of crime may increase because of thewidespread of false information online. It is really harmful to the harmony of our society.

    In a word, effective measures must be taken to avoid this trend. First of all, apositive mental guidance must be popularized among people to enhance the importance of communicating face-to-face. Secondly, an educational campaignmust be launched to help people to mold more positive views of social relationship and a correct way to use Internet. Only in these ways can we live in a healthy world.

   As is subtly revealed in the drawing, a crowd of people are chatting on line, playing mobile games, reading micro-blogs by mobile phones without talking together at table. A network catchword is reflected exactly by this exaggerative scene, “There’s no further distance than that we sit together while you are playing with mobile phones”.

  Apparently, the purpose of the drawing is to warn us of “FOMO addiction”—the fear of missing out on something more interesting, exciting or better than what we're currently doing. Several factors could weigh heavily for the addiction, yet suspended at the top of the list are the following three causes. To begin with, along with the popularization of smart phones and rapid development of mobile internet, undoubtedly, mobile phones revolutionize the way we live thoroughly. Moreover, mobile phones can meet our needs of rapid access to all sorts of information so as not to feel out of the society, which urges youngsters addicted in checking mobile phones frequently. The last but not the least, “FOMO addiction” could often be found among the people who are lack of confidence and sociable ability.

  The reasons above primarily attribute to the phenomenon that people feel reluctant to contact others directly, it is necessary for us to use mobile phone in a reasonable way and restrain from being controlled by it. In the real world, after all, face-to-face interaction is the regular and wholesome lifestyle.

手写的照片放上来供老师评分参考~

呃···新的一期，这次掐时间写了···还是用了好多模板句···哎···先交上来，老师没批改之前我再自己改改~多谢老师啦！

A fashionable saying has it that thetelephone provides two-edged sword for users——the trouble is no one knowswhen it causes hurts. As we can see, at the dinner table sit seven young peoplewho are communicating with each other from the APP of telephone instead of fromreality. For my part, the time when the telephone hurts us is not in thehorizon.

The thought-provoking drawing ironizes a groupof people in contemporary society who can not live without telephones. Thistrend, which we believe is still in it infancy, effectly began with theemergency with APP of smartphone and will no doubt go further. And thefollowing one factor lead to this phenomenon, people in modern society long forexpress themselves directly, but there are too many limitation in reality. TheAPP of telephone offer an appropriate area in which they can express with freedom.

To be sure, telephone provides a variety ofconvenience to all aspects around our lives, but it is not necessary for us touse it moment by moment. In my opinion, I have no idea that whether thetelephone is a great channel to bring people together or even a good one. Obviously,the overly dependent on telephone brought a crisis in traditional interpersonalrelationship. I cherish a believe that telephone themselves are not good or bedand we can benefit a lot from using it as long as we take a good control overthem.

What will you do to kill boring time after having a meal with friends in the restaurant? I guess the major of youngsters may choose to play their mobile phones as the picture above depicts. Actually, the mobile phone has become such an indispensable part of our life that we can find almost everyone owns and uses them in any place.

We should consider such a question: whether we abandon ourselves to the cyberspace too much while the technology of mobile communication brings us convenience? The days that we have to find public phone when wanting to convey information have gone forever due to the birth of mobile phones. But with the distance in the space shortened, spirits of people have also been separated by these devices. We will face the danger that the abilities of speaking, listening and writing are fading, which may put the civilization of human in a dangerous position.

Fortunately, we still have time to curb and harness this situation. From what has been discussed, I hope the youth can get rid of the illness of the dependence of mobile phone. You should communicate with others by different ways and make efforts to open your mind.

选的第一个，谢谢啦！

你们太迅速，我佩服！

选的题一

     This cartoon witnesses an interesting scene. There are eight people; I guess maybe they are friends having dinner to tell the recent goings. In fact, they are having their cell phones in hands to surfing online via QQ and Weibo or even playing Fruit Ninja while they are close enough to talk to each other face to face at the same table. It is funny and ironic that they perform various and lovely looks but bother to give a glimpse to others.
      Several reasons can be interpreted for this phenomenon. And I would like to put the two follows as the main causes. Firstly, people are losing courage to convey their feelings and emotions in person. Looking and examining appearances of each other eye by eye and absorbing information by the gestures are complicated and difficult subjects. Major of people are too busy and tired to play this lively role, especially after all day long hard work. Moreover, the cell phone and software are getting more intelligent each day. The famous Apple Inc. even creates a new era of both software and real world. These genius inventions make life easier for our earthlings, specific the young working-men. They can keep contacts and no need to fear being strangers to others. Nevertheless, I am afraid that they are not close friends either.
      I insist that personal communication is substantial for human beings. Everything has two sides. Of course, cell phone does bring conveniences into our life; in the other side, it also takes our talking skills away. Apparently, we have no rights to ban the usage of phone. Yet, what we can do is to remind people to aware that addicting into phone applications is no good for their hearth in both physically and psychologically.

哎，你们都是先抢楼在重新编辑的，下次我也这么做了！！

选题：2009大作文
As is vividly depicted in the cartoon, a lot of people are divided into many parts by the spider web. Everyone has his own space which has nothing but a desk with a computer on it. With the help of the network, they can shop online, play online game and communicate with others though they can’t see each other. The caption below reads that the distance of the internet.
The purpose of the drawing is to enlighten us that more attention should be paid to the double effects of the internet. Obviously, the spider web symbolizes the network, which plays an increasing important role in all walks of life. With the development of technology, we can enjoy a better life and chat with friends more conveniently. On the contrary, if we are indulged in virtual life, we will not adjust to reality. We may be estranged with our friends because we will never play together face to face.
Hence, we must use internet reasonably in order to avoid network addition. Firstly, we can set a regular time to surf the web. Secondly, we should exercise self-control to resist temptation. Moreover, be ready at all times to observe the beauty of real life. If only we take actions mentioned above, the internet will bring a variety of conveniences to our life and make us closer to each other.

好吧第一次练习大作文我自己都不忍直视 - -

arthashao 发表于 2013-11-9 12:07
哎，你们都是先抢楼在重新编辑的，下次我也这么做了！！

我不是哦 我是写完了才发的 但是发了之后又改了一小下