标题: 优秀习作选登]Enhancing Personal Talents and [打印本页] 作者: 372830761 时间: 09-11-25 09:35 标题: 优秀习作选登]Enhancing Personal Talents and Enhancing Personal Talents and Abilities in College
Being admitted by Taiyuan Teachers’ College, I was aware that I’d have to do everything on my own from now on. I decided to enrich my knowledge and enhance my personal talents and abilities.
College life is really different from what I had experienced in high school. We have far less lessons. So much spare time is available. You can expend it on playing computer games, wandering with friends, enjoying long vacations, or grasping each second to read books, practicing the practical experiment to accumulate your social experience. I’ve chosen the latter with no hesitation.
There are adequate challenges and chances on campus, which is a small-scale society. I always try to be prudent to grip the chance to (1)do something significance. Taking part in English Contest, accepting challenges and getting the first place, I’m enjoying all of these happily.
As a freshman, I’ve been elected as monitor. I like the post and always try to train and show my organizing ability. We have been to Jinci Temple by bike, and we had a wonderful party on the New Year’s Day. I also help our teachers to urge some classmates to study hard, and help them make much progress in all of our courses. (2)What I’ve done not only enable me promote my individual ability, but also enhance our cohesive force of our class.
Usually I like to set short-term targets, make detailed plans, and then try my best to achieve them. Except doing the monitor’s responsibility well, I’ve made great achievement in all of my subjects. I am so excited to pass both CET4 and CET6. I got the first place in NCER2.
I’m fond of sharing every happy moment together with my close friends. Fresh ideas appear on my birthday parties. The most unforgettable one is a cheerful picnic with my roommates, who are all jokers.
Now I’m a student in the third year. I’m proud of my previous three years’ college life.(3)The final one year’s program has been perfectly planned, I will make all efforts to live brilliantly.
太原师范学院物理系 冯兆璇
【评语】本篇习作主要向我们展示了作者大学生活的丰富多彩，以及作者积极向上的生活态度。文章描写细腻，主旨清晰，思路明确，语言也比较流畅。但在写作的过程中，在句与句之间的连接、习惯用语的搭配以及用词的准确性方面要多加斟酌。
【改进建议】(1) 应改为do something significant；
(2) 应改为What I have done not only enables me to promote my individual ability, but also enhances the cohesive force of our class；
(3) 应改为The final one year’s program has been perfectly planned, and I will make all efforts to live brilliantly。